Talking taboos: money, sex, and goal-setting stressors

Therapist Dr. Juliana Hauser, Dr. Jen Caudle, and mindfulness coach, Rosie Acosta discuss the taboo nature of conversations around money and how to set financial goals for yourself.

Transcript

00:00

A lot of times we have self-worth and quality of life [INAUDIBLE] with our sex lives and with our financial lives.

00:06

[MUSIC PLAYING] So Juliana, talk to us about financial goals,

00:13

especially how those differ in your work as a marriage and family therapist. What kinds of questions do some of your clients come with?

00:20

So one of the things I found is an interesting trend in my work as a therapist is that the conversations about finances are very similar to the conversations about sex.

00:30

They are often viewed as taboo. That is something that you're not supposed to be talking about. It is something that we don't have a lot of language for.

00:37

And we have a whole lot of judgment and shoulds and rights and wrongs. So one of the things I like to do when my clients are speaking about their financial goals

00:45

is, one, say yes. I am so glad that you were speaking words to this. It's important.

00:51

And we should be able to be educated. And we should be talking about. The second thing is we know about goals in general.

00:57

If you're not setting specific goals and having it be something that you put your energy towards, then you're not going to meet your financial goals.

01:04

And you're not going to have that be incorporated in part of your everyday life, instead of it being something that's separate than how you're living your life.

01:11

The third is, what is the connection between your financial goals? What are you saying that you want?

01:17

And how that is going to enhance the quality of your life? And how is that going to enhance your self-worth? So I want to be very clear about, again,

01:25

like what are your whys in this? What are your wants in this? And how is that going to enhance the life that you say that you want?

01:32

Excellent. Rosie, the space feels more finite. It doesn't always feel in our control

01:39

as some of the other spaces like exercise or meditation. And how does this change how someone

01:46

might approach this conversation about finances and what options there are? Yeah, I mean, this is such a great--

01:53

it truly is a great question. I mean, I grew up in an environment where we didn't have much.

01:59

And I grew up with having lack mentality. And I know a lot of people who have.

02:06

And the way that this affects your overall experience in life, I mean, it sometimes can

02:14

feel like it's completely out of your control. And for some people it is. I mean, make no mistake, we've seen the effects

02:21

of the last two years. And really analyze where and how your beliefs around finances

02:34

hinders you in other areas of your life. Changing your mindset around finances with what you have

02:41

and really focusing on what you have best serves you in a positive way can really begin

02:48

to at least change the way that you feel about money. [MUSIC PLAYING] Take a deep breath in.