2023 goal-setting for your body, your relationships, and your life
My resolution for 2023 is-- I don't make New Year's resolutions.
So none of them have really stuck with me. I'm a big fan of here we go again. It doesn't matter how many times you try it and fail.
You just do it again. I failed on many resolutions that didn't come true. But it didn't stop me.
I just strive to do something else to give me the same type of satisfaction. New Year's resolutions, I really don't do them anymore.
You don't have to get ready if you stay ready. My resolution for 2023 is to bring more happiness
to myself and to the people that are around me. To take more space and time to rest.
Making more time for the people in my life that I love. It's actually something I've toyed with this idea of just sort of taking a large block of time
off. To leave the state of California. It doesn't matter where I go. It doesn't matter what I do. I just need a vacation somewhere.
To travel as much as I possibly can. To invite more pleasure into my life and to be someone who supports that in others.
What is the result you're looking for? As a time management coach, I start
every engagement and every session within the engagements of working with the client by asking, what do you want to walk away from this with?
What is going to make this worth your time? And the truth is, when prompted, most of us
actually know those answers. And the key to setting goals is to keep them really simple, not
complicated, just simple. I want this. I am looking for that outcome. Keep them very concrete and measurable.
It's not that you want to be a different person. You want to do something different. What do you want to do differently?
Give yourself permission to be fearless. Say what you want. I really have observed that the key is to define what you want.
Once you've defined it fearlessly, then it's just a matter of breaking down the steps to get you there.
I've worked with people at every age. There is no time in our lives that is too late to set goals or to change behaviors ever.
And there's no goal that's too big. The only thing that can be too big is not the goal but maybe the timeline in which we're
trying to achieve that goal. Some of our big goals, we really need to start with small steps, one motion, one change.
And then that change gives you the energy and the confidence to do the next small change. And that actually improves your life in a way
that you're ready to tackle the next step. So it's more the journey can be over scoped or over ambitious,
the speed of the journey. But the goal itself, never too big.
According to psychological research, goal setting actually can be linked with higher motivation, self-esteem, self-confidence, and autonomy.
What sorts of conversations do you have with clients or patients, even friends and family
when it comes to defining and shaping your goals at large? So I love that question. So people will come to me, and they'll say,
in college, I used to run track, and I was this fast, or I did this. And they want to get back to that.
However, part of the life cycle is that we move forward, and we grow up. We grow older. With that comes shifts.
So when I talk to people about really prioritizing what it is that they want, I want them to be rooted and grounded in the now as opposed to,
I want to get back to. What does your now look like, especially with you feeling good? So I try to really do a reframe and take the whole person,
like look at it holistically. What does work look like? What does the balance of family look like? What does socialization look like?
What does your access to food, all of those things, so that we can then create a true sustainable pattern
of eating that feels good, and it has no guilt because food nutrition is never served with a side of guilt.
Oftentimes, we think we should do something. We think we should be something. And it's based on what others are saying about us
or saying is the should of our life. And so I check in with their agency. I want to know what is the why for this,
and is this for sure-- I like saying yucks and yums. Is this something that in your body when you think about this being a goal of yours,
is it a yum inside of you, or is it a yuck, but I should do this? If you are setting goals for yourself
or trying to achieve something that is based on what others want or what you think society says is the right thing to do,
then it is going to be very difficult for you to follow a plan and to actually feel like it's congruent with what you need and want.
So I really herald agency in the process of goalmaking. If it's not a heck yes, then it's a heck no.
I think it's so important to really tune in to what it is that you're actually trying to bring into your life.
And I'm also a big fan of not shoulding all over yourself. Don't should all over yourself. Don't put that pressure on yourself of I
need to be a certain way. I need to look a certain way. I need to change my life and have it look a certain way. I believe that goals are absolutely
important for everyone to have. But at the same time, I feel that sometimes they can limit us from being in the present moment
and allowing ourselves to just accept the life that we have in the current state. Regardless whether you're happy with it or not,
you are where you are, and you shouldn't put the pressure on yourself of needing or wanting to be somewhere else. Goals are really healthy, but I think
it's really important to continue to tune in and ask yourself, is this a heck yes or a heck no?
We can prompt ourselves or nudge ourselves to make the choices that we know align with what we want to have happen in the future.
When we set goals, a lot of the times, we think it's just putting it out there, saying to the world, this is what I'm going to achieve, maybe writing it on a to-do list,
maybe telling a spouse or a best friend that this is what you're going to accomplish. But there is so much more to effective goal setting.
We need to also think concretely. What can we do today, this week, this month? What actions can we take that will
help us advance from where we are right now to where we want to be in the future? And also, we need to think about the obstacles that
stand in our way, those things, those challenges we might encounter that could be stumbling blocks along that route to victory.
So people use visualization in all different kinds of arenas. Some people use dream boards or vision boards
to come up with a mental image of what an awesome future might hold.
So goal setting really is a multifaceted process that takes us from thinking about not just what I want,
but how am I going to get there, and how am I going to make it through the challenges? [MUSIC PLAYING]
So I was working with a client not too long ago coming out of COVID who really
felt like they'd gotten very much out of shape during COVID. They were eating too much. They were exercising so much less.
They were working longer hours and really did not feel themselves. And it had been so hard to get the exercise going again.
And this person had been very athletic pre-COVID, a runner,
did marathons, all of that. And they really wanted to get back to that.
And working a full-time job and going from zero to that kind of commitment and energy and performance
was very unrealistic in a short amount of time. So we really just redefined the exercise
to be what he could do in 20 minutes or less every day, five days a week,
wherever he was, at home, going to the office, traveling. And so instead of trying to get them
back up to full athletic performance, we defined very small, equipment-free
exercise that they could do in sometimes 10 minutes a day. And he started doing that.
And then that was doable, and it gave him so much more reward than he had expected because he was used
to the big kind of exercise. But these small doses every day energized him, connected him to his muscles again,
gave him confidence that he was actually doing something good for himself and able to stick to it.
No matter how much derailments life threw at him, he could always find his 10 minutes or 20 minutes.
Hi, I'm Rosie Acosta, and this is a meditation for setting your goals for the new year.
Any time you feel like you've deviated, you can always come back to this meditation so that you can reinspire yourself
and reground yourself to what you really want. So let's begin. First, find a comfortable seated position,
or if you want to lay down, that's totally fine, too. If you're sitting, roll your shoulders up and back. Grow up nice and tall.
Take a big deep breath. Inhale through your nose. [INHALES] Exhale through your mouth. [EXHALES] Let's do that again.
Deep breath in through your nose. [INHALES] Exhale through your mouth. [EXHALES] Good.
Relax your shoulders. Relax your throat. Relax your forehead. Just allow yourself to arrive into this moment.
Let there be a sense of ease. Bring your attention and your awareness to how you want to feel not just now
but when your goal comes to fruition. So think about yourself as the future self
in the present moment now. Notice how you feel.
Do a scan from top to bottom and from the bottom to the top.
Bring your attention and your awareness to the center of your chest and know
that that vision of you for the future is now in the present moment.
It exists within you right here right now. Take a deep breath in, nice, long exhale.
When you're ready, gently lower your chin, take a moment, blink your eyes open, and come back into the space.
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