Roadmap to Resilience: How to embrace change

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Hi. I'm Dr. Vonda Wright. Welcome to our Roadmap to Resilience class.

We've previously talked about the concepts of control and commitment.

Today, we're studying the third C, Challenge. The concept of challenge means that when

we're faced with situations that are tough or that are new to us, we have a spectrum of responses.

We can curl up in a ball in a corner and just wait it out or we could look at the opportunities that arise during hard times.

We can take baby steps to rise to the challenge and fix where we are. And when we do that, they will accumulate

into solving the entire situation. No matter where you are in life, no matter if we're talking about your personal life

or your professional life, we are going to have to deal with challenges. And how we deal with them is a measure

of our resilience and the hardiness skills that we've learned. You know, in my own life, my career has taken several pivots.

I was a nurse. Now I'm an orthopedic surgeon. Then I moved into administrative and surgical roles.

And at each pivot along the way, because it was new, because the responsibilities were different,

there were challenges. I have found that when I have challenges, it helps not to try to tackle the whole problem at once.

But I rise to the occasion. And I see the challenges as opportunity by solving one little problem at a time

because when I fix this step, I can move to the next and then to the next with a view on what the long-term outcome

will be. So keep watching as some amazing experts teach you how to build resilience through challenge.

I think I'm very resilient, you know, because I've been through so much. Resilience, you know, in my life has been something that--

it almost came without saying. I absolutely consider myself a resilient person for many reasons.

To me, when I am resilient, it's coming from a place where I have failed, but I also need to learn, regroup,

and attack it a different way. And NBA has truly shown me that there's never a situation where I'm going to be up all the time

rather than going to be down. You know, life ebbs and flows. And it's a must that I maintain a mental stability

to the hardships of life because life is not easy. For me, so many times, I hear people

using being a product of their environment as an excuse to fail.

It's useful to use some of those hardships and the pitfalls to motivate you, to push you to do better,

to be better, think outside of the box, and find out what it is that you do best and what motivates you.

And I found in basketball, business, as I grew and as I got older, that's what motivates me, you know.

So I-- you know, I grew up in the most highest crime rated area of the United States at that time in Baltimore, Maryland.

But I was going to use being a part of that environment to continue to do things to fail.

You know, in terms of resilience in my life, you know, I was born in Miami. And my mother was from Belize.

And my dad was from Jamaica. And when I left to go to college at Wake Forrest, my mother went out on disability. And for most of my adult life, I've

been a caregiver for my mother, who was overweight, diabetic. She had a couple of strokes. And through all of those things, I just

saw her really continue to push forward, have a positive attitude. So much of what I've learned in my life about resilience

and pushing forward is, you know, things are going to happen. Change is the only thing that's inevitable. We know it will-- how we respond to it makes all the difference in the world.

And so, you know, she really taught me what resilience means with a lot of my dealings, you know, with her through difficulty,

whether it's going into assisted living or ultimately going into a nursing home, where she passed away. It was difficult, but really important

and helped to shape my life in the way that I live day to day.

Challenge really is just about flexibility. People who are high in challenge--

they like to try out new things. And they see stress as not necessarily a bad thing,

but something that's challenging that they can deal with and that they can learn from.

Some of the tips that I would give to patients to practice resilience-- number 1 is having a sense of humor.

I think that the global pandemic has taught us that we don't have a control over a lot of things. And I think that having a broader sense of humor in life

gives us an ability to accept some things that are with-- not within our control. The other thing I would say is courage.

You can't have resilience without courage. And courage also implies a certain amount of action.

It also implies an acceptance. And I'm a big fan of the Serenity Prayer, which is asking, you know, sort of for courage, acceptance, wisdom.

And I think that all three of these are very important components of resilience. And the last thing is sort of flexible cognition

and flexible coping mechanisms. We need both of them. We need the ability to sort of reframe things. So having flexibility in the way that you understand things

and the way you approach things, and then also having coping mechanisms-- so I would say coping mechanisms are things that-- behaviors or actions

or self-soothing techniques that actually get at the underlying problem. A lot of times, what I've been seeing during the pandemic

is, you know, people might be eating a lot or drinking or using substances or drinking excessive alcohol.

And while these techniques might be beneficial for people in the very short term, the problem

is some of these take on challenges of their own. So those would be my top tips for patients and results.

COVID has, unfortunately, been a devastating thing for a lifetime. But out of this, we've had an opportunity

to learn so many different things-- how to deal with massive changes as a very short notice

and being successful at dealing with that. How do I balance work and family and childcare in the same space?

That's a challenge that I don't think many of us were prepared for. But we had to do it. We think about the bad parts of COVID very often.

And the good bits that we have to do repeatedly often fades away. But I think it's remembering the good bits that help--

is going to continue to sustain us. So having a strong sense of challenge means you really enjoy change.

You're not always stuck with the old ways of doing things. People high in challenge tend to look for the best in what's

coming next. They have a sense of adventure about everything. They're curious. They ask questions, even the smallest things.

There's no question that this year has seen an unprecedented change for everyone worldwide. We've had to change so much about how we live our lives.

So while it's been difficult in some areas, such as travel, going to work, visiting family and friends, and so on, there may be some advantages.

We've all had to spend more time at home, for example. And that's opened up some opportunities for many of us.

For example, we have more time to catch up and take online courses on subjects that can help us at work or be of personal interest.

This is a course here that could be helpful for a lot of people that we might not have ordinarily had time for. We've been able to spend more time on our hobbies or things

that we've always wanted to do if we only had more time to do it. Some of us have connected with old friends

that we haven't seen for a long time. It was a great time to get back to and learn more about things like your favorite musical instrument

or read books that you've always wanted to catch up on. So for people who hate to change,

it's really about trying to follow those aspects of our new world that could allow us to grow and move forward.

And we just have to look at it differently and not just complain or look at the downside.

What can I do with this time that's going to be constructive, that's going to be helpful, or that I could even enjoy myself, to some degree?

Now that you've learned about the idea of challenge, try the following three tasks to apply it

all to your personal life. Number 1-- change one thing in your life. Have a different breakfast tomorrow

or switch your evening routine, or how about try taking a new route to work? Change is always an opportunity to learn and get better.

Through this exercise, you'll get used to change and will become more flexible in general. So when the next unexpected change happens,

you'll be ready. You'll embrace it instead of running away from it. Number 2-- think of one thing you

failed at and list three things that you learned from it. Taking risks are an important part of life.

It's inevitable that we will fail at some tasks. Rather than getting overly upset about failing, ask yourself,

what can you learn from that experience? What do you know now as a result of that unsuccessful event?

Hardy people learn and grow from situations, even when they don't succeed.

Number 3-- visualize your goals. Visualization is a tool used by many athletes

to increase their self-confidence and general effectiveness. In a previous homework, we asked you to set up

some goals for yourself. Take one specific goal and visualize it.

What I mean is close your eyes and see yourself living out the goals you planned.

By doing so, you'll get more motivated and the goal will seem more achievable, less like a dream.

It will also help you see yourself more in charge of situations, which will build a stronger sense of resilience and control.

Thank you for watching. Don't hesitate to ask questions in the comments section. Also, make sure to subscribe to Sharecare's YouTube channel

so you don't miss our next class. See you next time.