Roadmap to Resilience: having a sense of purpose

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Hi, I'm Dr. Vonda Wright. And welcome to our second class in the Road Map to Resilience.

In the first class, we gave you a basic overview of the concepts of hardiness, which are control, commitment,

and challenge. Today, we're going to do a really deep dive on what it means to have high levels of commitment.

How can having a purpose in life help you build resilience? How can you be more committed?

How can you be more hardy? And how can we help you on this roadmap to resilience? Those are all the questions that we're

going to answer in this class. You are going to thoroughly enjoy all the wisdom and perspective that these experts bring

to this class.

So let's get started. The concept of commitment is, simply put,

having a purpose in life, realizing that every day, the decisions you make get you towards a goal

and that it means something to you. It really will go a long way when times get tough.

People who are truly committed in life take actions to work towards their goals. They're interested in life and everything

in the world around them. They're naturally curious. They want to know more. They handle stressful situations better.

It doesn't matter where you find yourself. When you have a high level of commitment, you handle it better.

And also, they commit to challenges and don't give up. As an orthopedic surgeon, when I think

about the commitment in my life or the purpose or simply put why I get up every day at 5:00 AM

to go see my patients, part of it is because I'm committed to the science of orthopedic surgery,

to understanding how to recreate the anatomy that we were born with so that my patients can be out of pain

and walk again. But what I'm really committed to, the reason I get up every day, is because I understand that

as an orthopedic surgeon that by making people walk again, by harnessing the power of their mobility,

or in other words saving their mobility, I'm actually saving their lives. And boy, that really motivates me.

And it keeps me committed. When you commit to something and know

that there's going to be ups and downs and ebbs and flows with it, then that helps grow your resiliency.

When you see that resiliency really helps your life and really is something that makes you have a more fulfilling and progressing life,

then you trust it. And you trust that that process worked. And you trust in the world. And you trust in your decision making.

When you can trust in your decision making and in the world and in yourself, then you can make commitment. So it's a cyclical part of commitment and resiliency

and trust. Commitment is really valuable.

We've seen it time and time again in terms of helping you to manage the stress in your life.

A lot of, I think, commitment and also control and challenge, a lot of hardiness, is learned very early in life

and based on your home environment, your family. What role models do you have?

How do your parents or your caretakers respond to stress in their own lives?

And of course, children observe that. We've learned that there are things you can do to change your hardiness levels.

So for example, when it comes to commitment, one simple thing you can do is take a little time every day

and think about what's important, what's meaningful for you. Set some goals for yourself then along those lines.

And work on it. Spend more time doing those things that you value. Pay attention to the world around you

and the people around you. And finally, try to spend more time with the people and the activities

that you enjoy the most. All of these things together are going to help you to build up your-- your hardiness commitment.

Setting the right goals help motivate you to have more meaning in your lives.

Your emotional intelligence helps you become aware of the fact that something's lacking. And one of the factors in emotional intelligence we

look at is self actualization. People low in that really don't have much challenge in their life. There's nothing that really gets them excited

that they're passionate about. So we help people try and go back maybe to their childhood and find the things--

they used to like music or sports or something that got them excited, painting. And we develop that.

Even later on in life, we can develop those areas. And that can increase our purpose. And if we're really lucky, we-- we

have work that matches our purpose. People like Paul and I are lucky because we really believe in what we do.

And we get to work in an area with a lot of purpose and meaning for us. But it's really important for people to find that--

the right emotion to match their purpose and find meaningful work in those areas.

Commitment to me is basically the true definition of unconditional love. Because commitment means that regardless

if it's in good times or bad, you are foundationally attached to that mission, to that person,

to that initiative. I made a commitment that I would want to become a doctor so I can make sure that no pains would

have to be had. And I truly did commit to that. Like as an eight-year-old, I mean, my mom, she would call me Dr. Hilton.

And you know, if you asked me a question, I was going to diagnose you with something.

Being a musician takes a lot of commitment. And over time, that commitment builds resilience because it's a lot of work.

And we learn how to develop the right muscles mentally to be able to move forward. [MUSIC PLAYING]

With any musician, particularly as one goes through not just playing for fun, but playing for a living, playing as a profession,

we get told no a lot. Not only do we get told no a lot, but when you're in lessons, and you're

trying to improve your craft, you have a lot of people telling you what you do wrong. As a musician, we audition all the time.

And there was one audition in particular that I took. And let's just say things went horribly. It was really, really bad.

And I really started to doubt that I had what it took to be in this profession.

Because not only do we learn our craft, and we learn to do it at a high level, but we have to learn to do it on the spot under tremendous pressure.

But a few things helped. I describe resilience as been stubbornly positive.

And for me, it was my love of music that gave me the passion to want to keep going.

It was my love of music that-- that said, you know what? Life might be tough for a little while. But I want to keep trying and look for solutions

so that my audition experience can be better. I feel really strongly that it was my commitment to music

that led to my success. Particularly as a young musician, it takes a lot of hours for practice, work.

Sometimes when the other kids are going out to play, I might be at my instrument learning some scales. So I think for many musicians, that commitment to music,

that commitment to the instrument, that commitment to not say perfection but the endless pursuit of perfection

are the things that make us successful as musicians. And after years of commitment to music,

it actually started to work. I mean, I started off at the prestigious Curtis Institute of Music. And 11 years ago, I won the position

of assistant principal double bass of the Philadelphia Orchestra. I'm on faculty at the Juilliard School and teaching now.

On all these things, I think about little Joseph Conyers

maybe five years old when he first started playing on the piano and all these things that may have seemed completely out of reach, completely

impossible. But I think that's the thing about commitment. I think that's the thing about resilience. We don't necessarily know what the ultimate end

is going to be. But what we do know is that we have the love and the desire to make ourselves better and grow in that art form

and grow in that music. And that's what I did. And I trusted that process. And I'm really fortunate to be able to have the career

that I've had thus far. After learning all about the concept of commitment,

we want you to do the following in order to be able to best apply everything you're learning to your life.

Find your purpose. Make a list of the main motivations in your life. What excites you?

What feels meaningful? What makes you happy? Try something new. It can be simple.

How about a different breakfast? Or maybe you listen to a different podcast or pick up a new hobby?

You can even try something new by picking up an old hobby. All these things will help you stay interested

and build your sense of commitment. Connect with family and friends. You know, this can be a very lonely time.

And in fact, some scientists will call the way we interact with each other because

of all our digital access being lonely in a crowd. So it's very, very important that you actually

make connections with people that are important to you. Why don't you text your friends or text your children?

I was texting my children today as they were checking up on me and telling me to have a fabulous day.

Those kinds of connections that we continue to maintain will add commitment to your life.

It will maintain your purpose and build your happiness and your resilience.

If you have any questions about class 2 of the Roadmap to Resilience, we want you to leave them

in the comments section. We'll make sure to answer all your questions in our next Q&A.

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