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How can I learn to control ejaculatory inevitability?

Ian Kerner, PhD
Sexual Health
There’s no doubt that if you get to the point of ejaculatory inevitability too quickly -- well, it’s game over. But if you can learn to recognize when you’re approaching ejaculatory inevitability you can also learn how to control it. You get an erection when blood flows into your penis and the muscles at its base contract to keep it filled with blood. Those muscles start relaxing when you reach the point of ejaculatory inevitability and some -- but not all -- of the blood begins to flow out. After you have an orgasm, the muscles release completely, all of the blood flows back out, and your erection fades.

Taking advantage of this physiological process can help you last longer. You want to be able to pinpoint your moment of ejaculatory inevitability, so you can approach that point without going past it. Think of it as a valve that you’re using to release some, but not all, of the sexual build-up, which will cycle you back a bit in the process of arousal and allow you to last longer.

When you engage this technique, you might even notice a few drops of seminal fluid or pre-come. After you’ve experienced a couple of the pleasurable contractions of orgasm, without actually ejaculating, give the head of your penis a squeeze, which will help to diminish the desire to ejaculate by forcing some blood out of the penis. Not only is this a key strategy for lasting longer, it also feels great. In fact this technique is what can lead to multiple orgasms in men, or at least the concept of male multiple orgasms: experiencing one or two pleasurable contractions, without going past the point of no return, and being able to repeat the process over and over.

With some practice, you should experience one or two pleasurable orgasmic contractions as you reach the point of ejaculatory inevitability. This dispels some of the sexual tension in your pelvis, but you don’t ejaculate and you maintain an erection so you can keep going.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.