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How can I enjoy sex if my partner has premature ejaculation?

Madeleine M. Castellanos, MD
Psychiatry
Try to approach premature ejaculation (PE) as a challenge and experiment to discover ways to share sexual intimacy. You can help by switching to other types of stimulation that aren't genital-focused or even orgasm-focused. Have some fun with activities we often gloss over, like kissing, sensual touching and massage, taking a bath together or sex toys. Make sex about more than just intercourse and PE is likely to fade into the background, rather than steal the show.

There are a lot of things you can try together:

Outercourse: You're familiar with intercourse, but what about "outercourse"? In the simplest terms, outercourse is everything you do to turn each other on except intercourse: talking, touching, kissing, rubbing, oral sex. Much of what we call foreplay is considered outercourse.

If you're like most women, you probably wish guys spent more time on foreplay instead of skipping over the appetizers and going straight to the main course. But female anatomy and sexual arousal dictates that lots of women need some amount of foreplay, or outercourse, to climax. So here's an opportunity for your man to shine. He can spend most of his time with you enjoying foreplay, topped off with some intercourse. Done well, that can make you a really happy woman.

Oral sex: One of the most effective and satisfying ways for many women to get off is through oral sex. That's only true, however, if it's done well. Even though many women climax best -- or solely -- through oral sex, guys need to know that simply heading south and giving your clit a thorough tongue-lashing isn't going to do the trick. When surveyed about their partners' oral techniques, the vast majority of women report that guys are too rough, too impatient, too fast, too slow, off-target, or change rhythm at the wrong time.

While cunnilingus is certainly a talent, it's one that a man can easily acquire with knowledge, an appreciation for the female body, and practice -- lots and lots of deliciously sensual practice.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.