Why changing your mindset can change your life
Psychologist and author, Emily Balcetis talks about the benefits of shifting your mindset when it comes to our relationships and poses the question “Is there more to our relationships than what we perceive?”
Transcript
[MUSIC PLAYING] We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to thinking about what's possible for us to achieve.
The psychological baggage that we bring to the table can really hold us back from achieving the things that we want to in life.
And if we have a negative mindset, if we just think to ourselves, I'm not capable of doing this, this isn't possible for me.
We actually do see more negative things around us than somebody else might who has a more positive mindset.
So seeing is doing. Seeing is believing. If we feel like we're not making the progress that we hope
for ourselves, one of the things that we might do is try to change our mindset first because our perceptual experiences
and then our beliefs in what's possible can follow from that. So when we're looking at another person, it's really hard to read their reactions.
But our knee jerk thoughts about, what are they thinking? What are they feeling? How am I coming across to them? Can be really important for what happens
next in that conversation. I think the important thing to keep in mind is that we can all read people in different ways
and that may or may not line up with what they're actually trying to show us. What we found in our own research is that oftentimes, the nonverbals that people
are giving us, their emotional reactions that are showing up on their faces, are multifaceted. They're actually feeling and showing
a lot of different emotions all at one time. And yet, we may only read one thing in their face. And, in fact, what we found is that that's
sort of like a personality characteristic. When I look at somebody and even though that I know that there's more than one thing that they could
be trying to tell me with what they're showing on their face, we often read just one reaction.
If people have a tendency to see the negative in other people's emotional expressions that actually sets up that interaction for conflict.
It can be more challenging to work through the difficult conversations that we're having with people and to feel an emotional recovery after we've
done the hard work of moving through that conflict. But there's another thing that we can see. There's another way to read people's faces.
If we look for the positivity, if we look for the signs of happiness or acceptance or the small smiles, even if they don't last that long,
we can set up those interpersonal conversations for success. People recover faster from conflict when they give each other the benefit of the doubt.
And not only assume that someone's thinking the best, but do that work to try to see it, as well.
Oftentimes, when we're setting goals, we might try to go about it just taking advantage of our own-- of our own powers, and that might do a disservice.
It could be challenging to ourselves to continue on with something that's difficult if we're only beholden to ourselves.
Social support is a great tool for helping us meet our own personal goals or even those goals that we share with other people.
That accountability partner, it can be really useful for helping us persevere and getting over those challenges that might otherwise
lead us to throw in the towel. So finding somebody else who can share your goal, who will commit to the same goal, and who will check in
with you to help monitor your progress, to be that accurate source of insight and of accountability
can really help us push through the challenges that we'll have. [AUDIO LOGO]
wellness
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