How to disagree with loved ones
Family therapist Dr. Juliana Hauser and mindfulness coach Rose Acosta share different communication strategies for disagreeing with loved ones around the holidays and how to protect your mental health when engaging with family members.
There are ways that you can find a respectful place to disagree and not abandon yourself and your values,
but also not blow up into some SNL skit what your holidays are going to be like. I guess I was just full of Christmas cheer.
Why don't you want [INAUDIBLE].. [LAUGHTER] [SWOOSH] [MUSIC PLAYING]
It has to take all parties being willing to not cause harm
to the relationship by standing up for what their values are. And if you're going to debate-- have the vibe of debating--
and this is what I say to anybody in family or friend wise is-- everyone needs to consent to this being a debate.
Instead of it I'm going to come at you and tell you what is what, it is are you interested
in a discourse about this that is equal, and respectful, and we're going to listen? I think the other part of it is that, I mean,
there are some things that you just know what your point of view is, and there's not going to change it. But if there's any way to understand someone else's
point of view from a compassionate place, then find those places too. But I think everyone needs to have the line of where you're
going to be OK and we're going to preserve the relationship, and silence is a part of the problem as well.
What you're saying, Dr. Juliana, about respect, I think that comes up a lot with this whole conversation.
And same for me and my family, there are a lot of differences.
And I think that the key for me has been having self-awareness,
of practicing active listening, and having compassion, and consenting to having this conversation.
And bringing it back from a mindfulness perspective, I think that the most important thing you can do is to just be aware of what's happening within you.
I'm a big fan of going for walks. I love walking when people are around. I'm like, I'm going to just go take the dog on a quick stroll
around the block, you know? Or I'm just going to go and sort of express or exercise
what is happening in my physical body so that I can come back feeling more grounded,
and feeling more aware, and feeling more compassion. But I think the component that overarches all of those ideas
is respect. [SWOOSH] [MUSIC PLAYING]
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