How can I deal with my partner's erectile dysfunction?

Erectile dysfunction can be difficult for both partners. Sex therapist Sari Cooper, LCSW, explains how you can get through it together.

Transcript

00:00

Give him something that he can do that he's good at that makes you feel good. It shifts his focus, allows him to relax,

00:07

and then perhaps the erection will come back. [MUSIC PLAYING]

00:16

Men go through periods of time where they lose their erection. It happens to all men.

00:22

And if this happens to your partner, what you can do is you can say, is there something I can do?

00:30

It's OK. And then shift the focus to doing other things. Don't stop the action.

00:38

It really makes a guy feel really badly about himself that the whole thing has become a failure. And you don't want sex to become a success or failure endeavor.

00:47

It's really about connecting and having fun. So another thing you can do is say, hey, why don't you touch my shoulder?

00:54

Give him something that he can do that he's good at that makes you feel good. It shifts his focus, allows him to relax,

01:01

and then perhaps the erection will come back. If your partner actually has a series

01:07

of times when he loses his erection, then that's something different. And that's when we start calling it erectile dysfunction

01:14

when it happens more and more frequently. And what happens here is a lot of guys might avoid sex completely with you.

01:22

So what you can do is say, hey, I noticed that we haven't been intimate. Let's start by just taking intercourse

01:28

off the table and let's start being sensual with each other. Then later on if you'd like, you can say, hey,

01:35

why don't we go to a doctor together or why don't you go see somebody? Because I know we can fix this together.