Your relationships and purpose (6 min)

I mean, I have seen people turning 30 and 40 who are going through the trials of hell.

But I can only tell you that you have choices. [MUSIC PLAYING]

In Puerto Rico, family is everything, the aunts, the uncles, the cousins, and elders.

You always respect your elders. You always listen to them. It's called respect. It's very important that--

look at some of these amazing, big, burly guys in football talking about my mama. That's so beautiful.

Isn't that gorgeous? I love that. And that's how I feel. What I learned from my mother was really vital

in those times. I learned perseverance to deal with adversity. I saw her going through terrible times,

and I saw such astonishing examples of courage and stick-to-itiveness and wisdom.

I miss her terribly the older I get, isn't that interesting? I really miss her so much.

I would give anything to put my hand on her face just one more time. That would be so nice.

Having close relationships with other people, that's very important. My daughter Fernanda, she's probably my closest friend.

Now, this doesn't happen a lot with mother and daughter. A lot of that is based on truthfulness and honesty.

I'm the one who says, I sense that you're not happy about something I said the other day,

and I think you need to tell me. I also said to her something extremely important to me because it became important when she and I weren't

communicating enough to make me happy-- I do not want to die with something unresolved.

And for me, that's you, and you and me, and our relationship. And I said, you must always, as hard

as it is, if you have to be harsh with me, do it. I'm pretty tough, as you know.

But you must clarify and clear the air. And I have to do the same with you.

And we do. It's still harder for her than for me, but I've been around 90 years.

I've experienced almost everything I can possibly experience. She hasn't. And it's still hard for her to say something

to me that's unpleasant, that she finds unpleasant about me. That's hard for her, but that's OK.

And I know her so well. I'm so tuned into my daughter that I know when she's feeling stressful about something.

Are you OK? Yeah. No, you're not. I know it. Don't mess with me. You know me.

But it's a fabulous relationship. We are very close. We're very lucky to have that kind of relationship.

And she's like the light of my life.

I just adore her. Let me make something clear-- it was not always that way, particularly when

my husband was alive because there were a lot of things that were-- remained unsaid because

of my relationship with him. She knew it was very difficult for me not to share my unhappiness with my marriage with her,

but that would have put her in a horrible place because, as time went on, our situation, meaning

his and mine, became worse, as they do. Once in a while, I'd let something, you know,

sneak out because I knew that she had those kind of problems with him also. He was a controller, a major controller.

Just to give you an idea-- actually, it's in my book-- we had a big, big argument one time about how to peel a banana.

I didn't start it. I remember saying to him, are you listening to this conversation, this argument we're having?

And he was off in his I-am-right world. It was astonishing.

Fernanda's relationship, my daughter's relationship with her dad, my husband, is very deep, was very deep.

She was still-- she was a daddy's girl, no question of it. And he was probably the most fantastic grandpa

that ever lived. He was nothing-- he was just such a loving man. So with all of the Sturm und Drang that we lived through,

I had such respect for him. And by the way, it's one of the reasons I didn't leave him either. We don't leave in my family.

You don't leave people.

My purpose in life is not show business. My purpose in life is to live a life well-lived. That is what counts.

Somebody said, and I wish I remembered who it is, in order to have it all, you must love it all.

I love what I do. I'm an actress. I love what I do. Acting is my other life, but it is a life.

It's a whole other life. I'm getting ready to do a film soon. I have to leave for Nashville for three weeks,

and I'm all excited about it. I have to get that script sooner than later because I have

a lot of lines in that one. I'm thrilled that I'm still wanted and needed by my industry.

There's a lot to be said for that. I mean, I have seen people turning 30 and 40 who are going through the trials of hell,

which is, to me, absurd. I don't want to make fun of them because it's real,

and it's a fear. And I can understand in this kind of society why, also, people, women particularly,

would be very anxious about getting older. But I can only tell you that you have choices.

And the choice is to live your life to the fullest. That means facing the fear head-on

and finding a way to enjoy all the good stuff because there's a lot of good stuff.