Overindulging during the holiday season (and feeling bad about it)

Family therapist Juliana Hauser, PhD, OBGYN, Evelyn Minaya, MD, and mindfulness Rosie Acosta have a transparent conversation about overindulging around the holidays, the guilt that comes with it, and how to enjoy the holidays without judgment.

Transcript

00:00

My big issue with the "overindulging" during the holidays is how we beat ourselves up about it.

00:09

That's my issue with it. [MUSIC PLAYING] When we have our family all together,

00:17

we do tend to overindulge because that's how we show love, you know. So the more that you eat, the more that you're

00:23

loving everybody around you. And that is the absolute truth. It's not only part of our culture, but it is-- and it's everybody's culture, right?

00:31

Everybody gets together-- and cookies and things, things that I don't normally will eat. But just to say listen, I appreciate

00:37

that you brought this cookie that you made, OK, and that you did it out of love. My mother always said that she cooks out of love.

00:44

That's why it tastes so good. And she's absolutely right. I love what you're saying, Dr. Minaya. Obviously, I can relate. Culturally, it is-- you know, food is our love language.

00:53

That is how we express how we feel. And you know, growing up in also a very Latin and Hispanic

01:02

household, it was the way that we showed love and appreciation for our family.

01:08

Like, my abuelita would start cooking Christmas, you know, meals for, like, weeks before.

01:15

You know, she's prepping; she's grinding corn; she's doing all of the things. And so once you get to that point,

01:21

if you're not eating all of that food, you-- it's a sign of disrespect. For me, especially being a mindfulness teacher, my--

01:30

my biggest, you know, advice is always do what you're going to do, but do it mindfully.

01:38

Be fully present. Engage all of your senses. Be OK with it. Don't beat yourself up. And I think that's my biggest issue with this season.

01:48

When people overindulge, we get so hard on ourselves. And if I'm OK with overindulging,

01:55

I'm going to be OK with it. I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I think it's all context too.

02:01

Like, what's overindulging to me may not be overindulging to you. And so we have to, like, know what we're talking about when we mean overindulging in it.

02:08

And I agree with what you're saying about it's-- it's a lot about intention and purpose. And if you're going into it with agency,

02:16

if you're doing it-- when you know-- in a way, like, you know what you're doing, and you're choosing this consequence to it, or you're

02:22

choosing to engage in this, then that I think makes a difference. Thanksgiving has become a pretty hard holiday for me.

02:28

And the last few Thanksgivings, it just felt really hard to fix the traditional meal for just myself or the kids. And so this year, I was, like, saying to myself,

02:37

we are going to go do something different. And I'm going to take control of this. And we're not going-- and I talked to my kids. And they were, like, we don't care about the traditional.

02:43

We're going to go on a trip. So I planned a trip for us, and I just finished it yesterday. And I think I overindulged. I'm taking the kids to Vegas.

02:51

If that doesn't-- [LAUGHTER] That's an example of overindulgence. Now I'm getting all red. I was, like, [INAUDIBLE] what I'm doing.

02:58

But I did it with purpose, and it feels really good to have actively made that decision. [MUSIC PLAYING]