Patient Perspectives: How migraines affect family life

In this video, Dr. Mitzi Williams leads a roundtable discussion with migraine patients as they discuss how the condition impacts their lives and families.

Transcript

00:00

[MUSIC PLAYING] One day I woke up, and it just kind of felt like someone took me out of my body and put me in one that worked at 50%.

00:09

Hi, everyone. My name is Dr. Mitzi Joi Williams. I'm a board-certified neurologist, and I'm here with Shauna, Kerrie, and Adam

00:16

to talk a little bit about living with migraines and how migraines affect their everyday lives and their family lives.

00:23

Migraine can affect your family life, affect the activities that you want to do. If someone wants to go to a movie

00:29

and you pop up and have a headache, you may have to cancel those plans. So how did you guys cope with that, and what advice would you give for people with migraine

00:37

to be OK with maybe missing some of those things or be OK with those feelings associated with it? I had to learn how to stop and rest and take care of myself.

00:48

I'm always-- I've been an overachieving person, busy, always busy, always doing something for other people,

00:55

and I just didn't know how to rest. After my third concussion, that was just, like, the wake-up call for me.

01:02

So when I do have these migraines, nothing else matters. I need to take care of myself. So I have found that the most important thing

01:11

I can do for my relationships and for managing that stress of missing out is to be honest.

01:18

I lost a lot of friendships in college because I was trying to dance around. I didn't want people to know I was sick.

01:25

I didn't want people to think that I was weak. And so it damaged a lot of my relationships.

01:32

And I learned over time just to be honest, that migraine is not a weakness. It is an illness.

01:38

It is a physical, a neurological condition. There is nothing that I had done to bring this on. It's not my fault. And so I am honest with my friends

01:47

and my family when I need to cancel. And I'm su-- and I make sure to tell them, I really do want to spend time with you, and I'll be in touch with you when I'm feeling better.

01:55

Ultimately, what happens in life is out of my control, but I can control the way that I respond

02:01

to what happens in my life. And so for me, going to see a therapist and starting to work through those things,

02:08

and when I feel out of control and when I-- when I feel sad because again, I'm not able to participate in life the way that I used to,

02:16

how can I reframe that? How can I-- how can I, you know, stop in that moment

02:22

and shift so that I can remember the things that I am grateful for?

02:28

And when I have to cancel plans, communicating to the people I have to cancel with that I'm so sorry I have to do this,

02:36

but I have to listen to my body. When I'm feeling better, though, I can't wait to spend time with you. So what type of advice would you give for people's families

02:45

out there who don't know what it feels like to have a migraine to help their loved ones when they're suffering from a migraine attack?

02:51

You know, the important thing is even if you don't understand, you know, what's happening,

02:57

just listen when somebody's experiencing a migraine. Just asking, you know, what can I do to support you in this moment?

03:05

How can I most help you? Believe them. Even if you can't see an illness,

03:11

or even if there is no blood test to prove that it is a disease, migraine is debilitating

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and it's stressful, and it feels horrible. It physically feels horrible to have a migraine attack.

03:24

But it also feels horrible if the people around you don't believe what you're going through. And many people with migraine have internalized stigma.

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They start to question, am I making this up? Because if other people don't believe them, then they start to think, maybe I'm exaggerating.

03:42

Maybe I do-- you know, maybe this is anxiety, or maybe I'm making things up or making

03:48

a big deal out of nothing. Really listen to what they need. Believe what they're going through and ask--

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if you can, ask, what do you need now? And respect what they need. If you don't have migraines, you

04:03

can educate yourself on it if you have a family or friend who's suffering from it. Read a book about it.

04:10

Talk to your doctors about it. And, like, talking to people with the same issues that I have really helps and in educating

04:19

people who don't have it, describing the pain and symptoms. But just listen, and be kind.