Episode 5: Kids & mental health
In episode 5, various mental health professionals discuss the anxiety, stress, and overall mental health of children and adolescents. Learn what signs to look out for if you suspect your child is struggling with their mental health.
Transcript
[ENERGETIC MUSIC]
The best thing I've ever done for my mental health is to trust the timing of my life.
To stop worrying. Own the fact that I needed support with my mental health.
So anxiety in kids is pretty prevalent. But it could look different in kids than it could in adults.
So what should we look for?
Here's the thing, guys. Children don't have the cognitive ability, the thinking ability, and the emotional development
to express themselves the same way that adults do. And for that reason, their anxiety could present differently and could look differently to you.
Children present somatically. And that word, somatic, means physically. So children that have anxiety very often present with stomach
aches, headaches, restlessness. Sometimes it's behavior like clinginess, but a change in their behavior or a change
in their physical symptoms. Children can't verbalize their emotions very well. So children cry. Children whine.
And the other thing kids do is they can become really irritable and have some behavioral problems. Now, instead of just jumping the gun
and assuming that you have a poorly behaved child, you might want to think through, wow, they might be experiencing a behavioral health issue
like anxiety. You want to approach their anxiety when they feel comfortable talking about it. So first and foremost, you're going
to validate their feelings. You're going to let them know that having anxiety is a very normal part of life and can sometimes be
good in a lot of cases for us. It can protect us. It's when it becomes too extreme and affects our lives in a negative way.
That's when we have to intervene. So let them know it's normal. Always encourage open communication, guys. You know that I'm a proponent of this.
So always let your kids know that they can come to you with anything and that they can talk to you without fear of criticism,
judgment, or being dismissed. They're so much more likely to talk to you and maintain a reciprocal, engageable conversation
if you don't do any of those things. When you talk to your kids, try not to ask them questions where they can answer yes or no.
So basically, do you feel anxious is a yes or no question as opposed to, what's been going on lately?
How have you been feeling? How's school? What's happening in your life? Right. That's an open-ended question. So try to ask more open-ended questions.
And let them talk as opposed to asking closed-ended questions where they're just going to shut down with a yes or no.
Children look to you as a mentor, believe it or not-- even adolescents that think you know nothing as a parent. And I'm going through that phase right now because I
have some adolescent kids. Share your experiences with your children because even if it doesn't seem like they're paying attention,
they are paying attention. So always, using your own life experiences and talking to them in a non-judgmental way
will certainly be helpful to open up those lines of communication because it might make them feel more understood and might lead to further conversation and dialogue,
which is exactly what you want.
Is our anxiety contagious?
In addition to young people experiencing anxiety, we know that as adults, parents, families,
we experience anxiety as well. Could our children pick up on our anxiety and feel a bit of that?
I love that you're asking this question because it goes back to role modeling. Right. So if we are role modeling anxious behavior,
they are going to pick up on it. And again, I go back to safety. So when kids see that we are in control
of our emotions-- and no one's perfect. I mean, look, today is, we're all going to go through different emotions and feelings.
And I'm really big as, as parents, it's OK for us to share our emotions, but at the same time to be mindful on what we are saying
because if I'm walking around as a parent in fear-- oh, my gosh, be careful. Be careful of this. Do this. When we're constantly on that high alert, fear mode,
they're picking up on that energy. So just for us to be mindful of our behaviors and our actions
because absolutely kids are watching us. They're smart. They're bright. They pick up on all of everything. I really love that idea of being
mindful of our behavior because think whether honestly we have kids or not, I think that's actually really great advice for adults and parents
and for us to be thinking about. What behavior are we modeling not only to others maybe around us, but even maybe for ourselves.
How are we? Are we being mindful about our actions and how we're coping?
What does it mean to fast forward now that we're going into schools? Give us a gestalt about what's happening in your world
with the little ones.
A lot of parents were worried because their kids weren't interacting with others. And I kept saying, it's OK. They just need your time. As long as you're spending time with them at home,
they're going to be OK when things open back up. It'll be fine for them. We ended up home for a little longer than we thought. And then, all of a sudden, everything opened back up now.
And there's a million activities your kids can do. And they're back in sports and dance and this and that and the other. And people just got so busy all of a sudden.
They forgot everything we learned from the pandemic which was like, it's nice to be home and spend time with our family,
not be as overscheduled. But the other thing is that a lot of the kids-- the overscheduling happened so fast.
It gave them a lot of anxiety, or the thought of it-- they were worried. I just talked to a seven-year-old today
who is a bright, smart, happy, normal kid. And the mom mentioned how excited the family was to go back to school.
And he said, I'm not. I don't want to go back to school. I'm scared. And we talked a little bit about it and how he's going to have-- some of his same friends
will be there. He's going to meet new friends. Within a few days it's going to feel normal. But I totally understand how those nerves--
it's more than just those preschool jitters-- right-- because it's been so long. But talk to your kids.
They can get through anything with you. It's going to be OK.
child development
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