5 healthy ways to handle everyday stress

Everyone has stress. Here are simple ways to help prevent small stressors from turning into big problems.

a middle aged white woman sits at her desk, paying bills and balancing her checkbook

Updated on October 29, 2024.

An aggravating text message from a friend, an argument with your partner, a traffic jam that makes you late for work: While little stressors like these are part of everyday life, your reaction to them can make a big difference in your health.  

Researchers from the Center for Healthy Aging and Department of Biobehavioral Health at Penn State found that if your response to stress is consistently negative, your levels of inflammation may rise. And long-term inflammation can be dangerous: It plays a role in the development of heart disease, asthma, Alzheimer’s disease, cancer, and other conditions.

In a study of 872 adults, Penn State researchers looked at the way in which minor stressors were handled and how those responses affected inflammation in the body. Participants were interviewed by phone each day for eight days and reported events such as getting into or trying to avoid arguments, something stressful happening to a loved one, discrimination, and more. They also rated the participants' emotions. At a clinic visit, blood samples were taken and examined for inflammation.

The results showed that adults who didn’t stay calm or who were unable to stay in a positive mood after a stressful event had higher levels of inflammation. Those levels of inflammation depended more on the individual’s emotional reaction to the stress, not the frequency of the stressful experiences.

Jennifer E. Graham-Engeland, associate professor of biobehavioral health at Penn State, noted that the study was one of the first of its kind to link responses to daily stressors with markers for inflammation.

How to reframe negative thoughts

First, it's important to be realistic about our response to stress. “It’s impossible to expect that you’ll remain positive no matter what happens during the day,” says psychologist Alice Domar, PhD. Still, there are some things you can do to help stop negative thinking and the stress response that often comes with it. Here are some suggestions from Domar for developing a healthy response to stress:

Check in with yourself each morning

Before you start the day, stop and ask yourself, ‘How am I doing right now?’

Try to do something to set a positive tone for the day. Things like getting some exercise, meditating, or taking the time to read an article that interests you can help you start the day in a more positive frame of mind.

Nurture yourself

“We tend to have a delayed gratification,” says Domar. “We’ll tell ourselves, if I get through the day, I’ll have a glass of wine or chocolate. But that sets up an expectation that the day will be bad.” Instead, give yourself little rewards throughout the day.

“I like reading email jokes that people send,” says Domar. “But I don’t let myself read one until, say, I’ve finished an hour’s worth of work.”

Don’t think in 'all or nothing' terms

“If your boss says something about your performance, don’t automatically go to, ‘My boss hates me, I’m going to get fired,’” Domar says. “It may not be about you. Bosses have bad days, too.” 

But if you’ve made a mistake, learn from it. “You need to be realistic about what happens,” says Domar.

Find your happy activity

Figure out what shifts your mood from being stressed and negative to being okay. Is it exercise? Is it dancing? Listening to music? Having a laugh? Do what works for you.

Don’t stress over what you can’t change

“Try to control the things you can control and let go of the things you can’t,” Domar says. While that may be easier said than done, it’s worth the effort for your overall health and well-being.

Article sources open article sources

Scott SB, Graham-Engeland JE, Engeland CG, et al. The Effects of Stress on Cognitive Aging, Physiology and Emotion (ESCAPE) Project. BMC Psychiatry. 2015;15:146. Published 2015 Jul 3.  

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