How can I cope with grief?

Coping with grief requires having a community that is tolerant of your feelings of sadness; taking advantage of support groups is key. In this video, psychiatrist G. Richard Smith, MD, explains why doing "grief work" is so important for healing.

Transcript

00:00

Well, one of the things that people need to do

00:07

is they need to have a community around them. And they need to have a community around them that is tolerant of them feeling their feelings.

00:15

So if your best friends aren't tolerant of you being sad or looking long-faced, those

00:23

are probably not the people to be with, because how could you not, if you have major grief, not be sad and not be somewhat long-faced.

00:34

So you need to have people around you. You also need to take advantage of various support groups if you don't have an adequate support system.

00:43

Many churches, synagogues, other religious groups have these. There are a lot of non-church-related support

00:51

groups where people can be involved. If folks are associated with hospitals

00:57

or academic medical centers, they oftentimes have grief support centers. And these are good.

01:04

And then people should not forget their clergy people, should not forget their primary care doctor.

01:13

And if they need help, they can talk to those folks. And perhaps they can get a referral to some community resource.

01:20

You can't not feel the feelings of grief and do what's called your grief work.

01:26

So you have to feel the feelings. The idea is to not mask or hide those feelings,

01:32

but to figure out how you can-- the technical term is titrate those feelings,

01:39

feel enough of them that it's not overwhelming, that you can get through.

01:45

And it's not helpful to anesthetize yourself some way with drugs or alcohol or prescription

01:53

medication. But that you do have to experience those feelings in order to transit