Relationships and Family
1 AnswerDr. Michael E. Hirsch, MD , Neurology, answeredOften, people feel anticipatory grief when they know someone they care about is seriously ill. Just as with grief after a death, family and friends may feel a multitude of different emotions, including sorrow, anxiety, anger, acceptance, depression, and denial, as they adjust to the new landscape of their lives. Depending on the type of illness and the relationship you share, you may feel closer and determined to make the time you have left count. Perhaps you are terribly anxious about what's to come or so firmly focused on last-resort treatments that you continue to push away any thoughts of the end. Possibly you long for release or feel guilty and conflicted. Although not everyone experiences anticipatory grief, all of these feelings are normal for those who do.
1 AnswerShawn Edgington , Pediatrics, answeredOne of the newest epidemics in the world of texting is Textual Harassment, a form of harassment delivered by text message. Textual harassment and techno-stalking are a growing concern, especially because it’s so quick and easy to accomplish, and affects all ages of both women and men.
Textual Harassment is an unfortunate reality that has developed as a result of the growth and popularity of texting, to the degree that special laws have been put in place to protect the innocent.
The laws that define textual harassment vary from state to state, but in California a single unsolicited text message that threatens physical harm or is obscene is enough to meet the definition of textual harassment. If the text doesn’t fall into either of these categories, then the text must be sent several times in order to be considered textual harassment.
1 AnswerLisa Oz , Health Education, answered
Well, they feel different. What your true self wants is clear and specific, generally unwavering and long term. When your ego - driven false self starts to whine, it's usually for something that just showed up - in an M&M advertisement for example - and you need to have it right away. If you don't acquire it immediately, you get an angry sort of desperate feeling. There is no pressure from the true desire, but if you thwart the demands of the ego, watch out, you've got a death match. Plus the appetite of the ego is insatiable. It wants the M&Ms and the late - night television show, the pack of cigarettes, the bottle of gin, and anything else that strikes its fancy. You start with a few candy - coated chocolates, and you end up passed out on the floor in a pile of ashes with an exercise infomercial droning in the background. Okay, this might be exaggerating, but there is some truth to this. How you are in anything is how you are in everything.
1 AnswerDr. Mehmet Oz, MD , Cardiology (Cardiovascular Disease), answered
Show your love. Experts recommend beginning the conversation by explaining that you love your partner and want them to take care of themselves so that they live a long and comfortable life with you. Start and end your sentences with, "I love you."
Pick the right time and place. If you're going to address erectile dysfunction, don't have the conversation in the bedroom when you both may be feeling vulnerable. Pick a neutral time and begin by explaining that you love him for who he is and not his physical performance. If you're concerned about how many times he got up to pee during the football game, don't bring it up in front of his buddies. Wait till your home and alone. And don't talk about memory loss just as he's looking for the keys. Wait till he isn't distracted and won't feel like you are calling him out.
Make a plan together. After you listen to his concerns about the issue, explain that you want to work on it together and that the first step may be visiting a doctor to check for underlying health problems and get treatment.
Opening up is the first step. While a diagnosis may be scary in and of itself, remember that there are treatments, if not solutions, to all of these ailments and talking about it is the first step to feeling better.
1 AnswerDr. Sheila Dunnells , Addiction Medicine, answeredYour question does not say how long you and your boyfriend were dating. There is a rule of thumb, however, for how long grieving continues: for every five years you were together, it takes one year to get over it.
That said, the holidays are a tough time of the year for a relationship to end. Society places a high priority on joy, love and happiness at this time of year, so if it isn't delivered, one can feel very left out. However, there are steps you can take to limit your exposure to painful stimuli.
If you are in the mall, don't deliberately take note of every couple holding hands. Avoid shops that are geared to romantic gifts. And, don't linger around the cards that express eternal love!
If you have an evening to yourself, enjoy a bath, go to the gym, get a massage or facial, read a good spy book or chat with an old friend. Don't put on movies that deliberately show case how "everything works out wonderfully" such as When Harry Met Sally. Save that for another time.
Do something for someone else. Focus on being helpful. Visit a nursing home, bake cookies for someone who is not going to get any Christmas presents, volunteer your time to the less fortunate. Get a sense of joy from doing! Go to church. Sing Christmas carols. Get busy.
Primarily, don't focus on what you feel is missing from your life because of your boyfriend's exit. Remember, there were things about him you didn't like; he wasn't perfect. I believe that your next relationship will be even better than this one if you sift through the ashes and learn from it. If you were truly ideal for each other, you would be together. So, something wasn't right. Focus on that. Being in a relationship that is not working for both people is worse than no relationship at all.
And, this is this year. Who knows what will be going on for you next year. Everything changes.
1 AnswerDr. Brenda K. Wade, PhD , Psychology, answered
Your romantic relationship can affect your health in that a bad relationship can be extremely stressful and impact you negatively - and vice versa! In this video, psychologist Brenda Wade, PhD, explains how your love life can influence your health.
1 AnswerDr. Michael Roizen, MD , Internal Medicine, answered
We all know all the good things that pets can bring to our homes (stained carpets aside). But they can also improve your health: Owning a dog, for example, lowers blood pressure of hypertensive people, and it does encourage walking (an hour of walking a dog in our patients gets the equivalent of 8 minutes of steps on the pedometer - so make sure you really do walk and not watch the dog). Does it relieve stress in the way that having a romantic relationship does? It's hard to tell for sure, but a couple of studies do indicate that it may. (Sorry, but cats have failed the few tests they have been used in to date.) And that's why pets are such a good source of healthy relationships, especially for those people without mates, as well as widows and widowers.
Find out more about this book:You: Being Beautiful - The Owner's Manual to Inner and Outer Beauty
1 AnswerArianna Huffington , Health Education, answered
As we work through the endless challenges of parenting, there is no substitute for building a little tribe of family and friends around us. When I was growing up, raising children was always the task of an extended family that reached far beyond blood ties. From the time I became a mother in 1989 until my own mother’s death in 2000, she was devotedly involved in the raising of my daughters. And my sister has been like a second mother to them. Unfortunately, the extended family is now increasingly considered an Old World curiosity, like horse-drawn wagons and dinner conversation. When, as a child, I ventured onto the streets of my neighborhood in Athens, I was never far from home because I had learned from my earliest experiences that every home was open to me and any woman on the block would mother me as surely as she would her own child -- with a bandage, a spinach pie, a scolding, or a hug. It’s hard to re-create that experience in America today, but we need to conjure up its spirit.
I learn a lot from talking with other mothers. It gives me perspective and the strength we get only when we’re not alone. This has become all the more important to me since my mother’s death, because being in her orbit made it much harder to cling to my fears. Now the online community we have created on the Huffington Post is a place where parents can put politics aside and share their experiences.
As Huffington Post commenter MJ Reynolds writes, “Talking with other parents and sharing our stories always helps me. I find that I am more understanding of the ‘mistakes’ made by friends or relatives than of my own. Being able to sit with friends and commiserate and laugh over our child’s picky eating or refusal to wear shirts unless the neck tag is cut completely off helps me realize that we are more alike than different.”