How can I boost my sexual desire while trying to conceive?

Hilda Y. Hutcherson, MD
OBGYN (Obstetrics & Gynecology)

A woman may need to boost her sexual desire while trying to conceive. No matter how excited a woman is about the prospect of being pregnant, she can experience just as many sexual roadblocks as her male partner. Sex on demand can be tricky for her, too -- even if she’s the one doing the demanding.

It’s easy for women to get in the goal-oriented, baby-making mindset, where sex is simply a means to an end. That can mean that she may not even be in the mood when she initiates sex, but is guided instead by ovulation. Yet a lack of desire can lead to additional problems, like decreased lubrication and difficulty cli­maxing. Here’s how to boost desire when you’re trying to conceive.


•   See a doctor. Antidepressants, anti-hypertension drugs, and other medications can contribute to low libido in women, as can anxiety and depression and diseases like arthritis and diabetes. 


•     Get emotional. Research suggests that women tend to feel sexual desire towards those men for whom they feel an emotional connection. The most important thing a guy can do to get a woman in the mood for sex is to make a strong emotional connection outside the bedroom. One way to do this: Try hugging for 20 seconds. Studies have shown that’s about the amount of time it takes for women to produce significant lev­els of oxytocin, also known as the cuddle hormone. Oxytocin is stimulated via touch, and is directly cor­related with a sense of connection and well-being.


•     A woman’s biggest sex organ is her brain. To turn her on, a man needs to help her turn her brain off. Research involving brain scans has found that the parts of the brain responsible for processing fear, anxiety, and emotion slow down significantly in women -- but not men -- as they become aroused. Help out around the house and otherwise take some of the pressure off her so she can focus on sex, not laundry, dirty dishes, or work.

•     Relax. Not only can stress sap your sexual desire, it can also make it more difficult to conceive. Practice a form of stress management regularly, and consult a therapist if necessary to help eliminate sources of stress.



The Good in Bed Guide to Sex and the Baby Years

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The Good in Bed Guide to Sex and the Baby Years

Available at a substantial discount for a limited time only, thanks to support from K-Y(R) Brand!Once you get down to the business of baby-making, the advice will pour in: books, magazines, in-laws,...

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.