Updated on September 21, 2023.
“Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but never gets you anywhere" - Erma Bombeck
Stress and worry have become part of everyday life. More than 40 million adults in the United States—or an estimated 19.1 percent of those aged 18 and older—have an anxiety disorder. Women are more likely than men to have one, by a margin of 23.4 percent to 14.3 percent, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Millions more struggle with day-to-day worries that don’t qualify as anxiety disorders but are still troublesome.
So, is it possible to learn how to stop worrying? Here’s what you need to know.
Worry vs. anxiety: What’s the difference?
While worry is primarily a mental activity in which we think about our problems or fears, anxiety is more of an emotional response to a feared event, often involving feelings of doubt about our ability to cope.
Anxiety becomes a mental health disorder when it is consistent and ongoing and impacts your ability to function in daily life. Anxiety disorders include generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and specific fears (or phobias).
How does worrying affect the body?
Stress responses like worry and anxiety are helpful warning signals that help prepare us to take action. According to stress researcher Robert Sapolsky, PhD, an animal’s stress response helps it survive a short-term physical attack by maximizing its physical body for a "fight or flight" response.
Human beings turn on the same stress response for purely psychological reasons, however, and we often do not know how to turn off our response. Sapolsky says that ultimately our response often becomes more damaging to our health and well-being than the stressor itself.
Four questions to ask yourself
It's not always possible to defuse or eliminate the thing that's causing us stress. But it often can help to try to mentally reframe the way the stressor is affecting us. You can start by asking yourself these questions:
What are things I can do about this situation? Write down a list of potential responses to the situation you are worried about. Worrying without taking action uses up mental and emotional energy and typically doesn’t improve the situation.
How can I prepare to deal with this potential event? Do something to ready yourself for a worst-case scenario. Preparation is a more productive use of your time and energy than worrying.
What is one thing I can do today? Worry can cloud our view of changing the things we can control. Choose one thing that you can commit to doing today to address your worry.
Whose problem is it? It’s common to worry about things that aren’t even your problem. If you are fretting about someone else’s future or choices, you could be causing yourself unnecessary stress
