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Updated on August 8, 2025
While you may not think twice before bringing up a sore throat or a sports injury, discussing sex with a healthcare provider (HCP) can be a different story. Many people feel awkward, embarrassed, or even squeamish broaching the topic in an exam room. But for your mental and physical well-being, it’s necessary to discuss sex with your HCP.
To make the conversation a little easier, here are some things to keep in mind, as well as tips for making the most of your HCP appointment.
Your healthcare provider isn’t there to judge you
Your HCP's job is to help you keep your body and mind healthy. Being honest and open and sharing information helps them provide you with better care. Any time you feel like an HCP does not take your concerns seriously or is judgmental, consider looking for a different provider.
Your healthcare provider has done this before
They have had years and years of professional or advanced graduate training and firsthand experience with countless patients. Chances are, no symptom, question, or story you might share will shock or surprise them.
It helps to do your homework
Before your appointment, take a few minutes to write some notes. What do you want to get out of the visit? What is the most important topic you need to discuss? Are you experiencing symptoms? Are you upset about anything? Having a simple script to follow can help you make sure you cover your main concerns—even if you feel the conversation strays into an area that you may not have anticipated or that may put you ill at ease.
Be ready with a starter sentence
One of the hardest parts about discussing an uncomfortable topic is getting started. Having an actual scripted first sentence can help. You may even want to start by just admitting that this feels awkward for you, saying something like, “I have something I want to talk about, but I’m embarrassed.” Being real, honest, and straightforward can help break the ice.
This can also help you get the difficult topic out of the way earlier in the appointment. If you've been to an HCP's office lately, you know that providers' time is often short and visits can sometimes feel rushed. Don't leave an important topic like sex for the very end of the appointment when your HCP is wrapping up and heading off to see their next patient.
Have something to reference
Sometimes it’s easier to have something else do the talking for you. For example, if you found an article that describes your situation, take it along with you. This can be another approach to starting the conversation.
Mention any other symptoms you’re having
Bring up any and all symptoms that seem unusual, even if you don’t think they’re related to your primary question or concern. Symptoms such as sleeplessness, depression, anxiety, or headaches could be an important part of the puzzle. Being honest with your HCP about symptoms you’re experiencing puts them in a better position to help you.
Even though talking about sex at a healthcare appointment can be challenging, it’s worth the discussion. Sex, sexuality, and sexual health play important roles in physical and mental well-being—and your HCP should know what’s going on so they can address your concerns and support your overall health.
