Updated on May 22, 2024.
Some people believe that those who die by suicide have serious mental health issues. For example, they have major depression or bipolar disorder.
But many who take their own lives don’t have a mental illness. In fact, it is often not clear when a person is thinking about suicide. There can be several reasons for it. They may be complicated.
Common reasons include:
- Chronic pain
- Substance abuse
- Other serious health issues
- Money worries
- Legal troubles
- Relationship problems
This may help explain why some people seem shocked or puzzled by the suicide of a loved one.
But there are clues in most cases. Some are more subtle than others. For example, mild changes in personality can be a sign. An outgoing person may turn quiet and withdrawn. Or a calm person can suddenly become tense and angry.
Here’s how to look for these signs.
Understand the range of possible warning signs
There are more obvious signs that a person may be thinking of suicide. These include:
- Dramatic mood swings
- Talking about being in terrible pain
- Aggressive behavior
- Feeling trapped
- Feeling like a burden to others
But if someone is considering suicide, there may be more subtle signs, too.
Look for these clues. Be especially aware if there is more than one. They shouldn’t be ignored.
- Avoiding social situations more often and for no reason
- Not caring about doing well at work or school
- More alcohol use
- New or worsening drug abuse
- Giving up on personal hygiene
- Giving up on positive habits, like eating a healthy diet and exercising
- Stopping medications, or being careless about taking them
- Letting chronic health issues get out of control, like diabetes
- Driving recklessly
- Engaging in risky behaviors
- Talking about feelings of guilt, shame, or hopelessness
- Unusual purchases, such as objects that could be used for self-harm
Thinking a lot about death is also a possible sign. This may involve giving away possessions and saying goodbye to family and friends. Another clue: the person is drawing up a will at an unusual time.
Risk factors for suicide
Anyone could be at risk for suicide. But there are some factors that put people at higher risk. It’s important to consider these, in addition to other warning signs.
Risk factors include:
- A personal history of suicidal thoughts or behaviors
- A family history of suicidal thoughts or behaviors
- Mental health conditions like major depression or bipolar disorder
- Being LGBTQ+ (lesbian, gay, transgender, etc.)
- A history of childhood abuse or trauma
- Stressful life events like divorce or the death of a loved one
- Chronic pain
- Military service
- Traumatic brain injury
- Access to firearms
In some cases, a person might believe their death would help their family or loved ones.
People with more risk factors are more likely to die by suicide.
Don’t dismiss your worries
Sometimes, it is hard to accept that a person is thinking about suicide. Admitting someone you love might take their own life can be scary.
But it is important to trust your instincts. Reach out to the person. Ask questions like, “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”
Talking about suicide won’t make them more likely to attempt it. In fact, it may have the opposite effect. It may give the person a chance to talk about their feelings. This can lower the chances they act on their thoughts.
Someone considering suicide can also:
- Call, text, or chat 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
- Text ‘HELLO’ to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line
They will be connected to a person who will listen to their concerns without judgment.
What if you are with someone who is going to attempt suicide? Do not leave them alone. Call 911 right away or go to the nearest emergency room. Even if you are not sure, it is better to be safe. You may save a life.
