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What should I avoid doing to make better friend choices?

Karen R Koenig
Psychology

To make better friend choices, don’t:

  • Keep friends just because you feel bad for them or are afraid to cut them loose.
  • Accept ongoing excuses from people who cannot live up to your reasonable expectations about friendship.
  • Keep on doing for people who don’t give back to you in return.
  • Take an ongoing part in relationships in which a friend wants you to be her mother, can’t admit to being wrong, is a perpetual victim, or has to have the last word.
  • Wear blinders, ignore red flags, or avoid seeing the truth about alleged friends.
  • Believe you don’t need friends and can take care of yourself emotionally without them.
  • Spend a lot of time with people you don’t enjoy or who don’t add to your life.
  • Try to fix friends’ problems; instead support them in fixing their own problems.
  • Let other people pressure you into staying friends with someone for his own reasons when it is not in your best interest.
  • Pal around with people who aren’t introspective and self-reflective, can’t laugh at themselves, and refuse to go into therapy if they have severe dysfunctions.
  • Keep company with friends who see themselves as living under a black cloud, because they’ll only make you feel helpless and push you into a caretaking role.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.