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What are patterns of sex addiction in men?

Madeleine M. Castellanos, MD
Psychiatry
Some people get into a pattern of sexual behavior that takes on a compulsive quality, but it's not always the same for each person. You may find someone tends to masturbate to porn or phone sex that they seek out, even if they know they are avoiding their partners by doing so.

Some guys get into a pattern of visiting prostitutes or escorts even though they value their relationship with their partners and don't want anything to jeopardize that. Still others spend hours poring over dating sites, forums, and chat rooms so that they can be sexually explicit with a multitude of people. It's not always the same for everyone. This excessive behavior is clearly different from the hypersexuality that can be seen in an acute and severe manic episode, or with brain damage caused by disease or trauma.
Paul  Hokemeyer, PhD
Marriage & Family Therapy

Some of the most common patterns of compulsive sexual behavior involve: paying for sex, topless bars, and sex itself. These behaviors often hint at deeper psychological issues.

Men pay for sex because it feeds their narcissistic ego by giving them a sense of power and control. At the heart of narcissism is a terror of connecting to another human being from a place of vulnerability and true intimacy. Somewhere in their past, people who have narcissistic personality traits (an exaggerated sense of self-importance, self-preoccupation and lack of empathy for others) were emotionally hurt.

In the case of topless bars, I have found that men can be drawn to these places in large measure out of peer pressure and to be ‘one of the boys.’ Rarely do I see patients visit these bars alone.

With regards to the sex act itself, typically it is secondary to the hunt for sex, the ‘closing of the deal,’ and the feelings of guilt, shame, or elation that occur after the person achieves orgasm.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.