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What is the honeymoon phase of a relationship?

Dr. Emily Nagoski
Psychology Specialist

The honeymoon phase is made of attachment—the wildly powerful biological experience we tend to call “falling in love.”

It can last, oh, maybe about 4 years, give or take.

That initial phase, though, isn’t what love is made of; it’s the mania of two people who think they know each other way better than they actually do. Only when you’ve been disillusioned, only when you recognize that you, like every other couple on earth, have (if I remember correctly) about seven irreconcilable differences—things you will never, ever agree on and that you’ll just have to learn to live with if you’re going to stay together—only then are you really committed to each other.
 
And I don’t mean cute stuff like, “He just doesn’t get why I love Bridget Jones.” I mean hard stuff like, “She doesn’t think it’s a problem, spending every Thanksgiving with her family, and I really  do.” You will always disagree and the only available solutions involve someone not getting something they want.
 
So ride the early part of the relationship like a wave. It’ll crash eventually. But dude, when it crashes, you’ll be on the beach! And that’s good too, right?

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.