How do I deal with tension in my marriage after return from deployment?

Homecoming from military service is a joyous occasion for most service members and their spouses or partners. However, the initial joy is like re-living honeymoon phase of your marriage, and when day-to-day reality sets in again, the honeymoon ends and there can be disagreements and tension. It’s normal to go through a period of getting reacquainted with your spouse and re-establishing intimacy. The tension you may experience can come about simply because you and your spouse have been leading separate lives for a while, and going through your own individual changes. 

Communication is the key to mending the misunderstandings and insecurities that your separation may have created. Talk about your expectations, and about how to share responsibilities again in your life together. Be aware that your spouse’s perspective has been different from yours, and try to appreciate the challenges that he/she experienced while you were away. Give your spouse credit for what he/she has done on his/her own. Consider how sharing your some of your experiences in the service might help your spouse to better understand your perspective as well. If, over time, things get worse instead of better, between you and your spouse, seek professional guidance and counseling. And remember that non-military couples go through periods of strife and difficulty as well -- no marriage is perfect!

Continue Learning about Family Challenges & Problems

Why won’t my veteran spouse talk to me about combat experiences?
Challenge AmericaChallenge America
Some veterans open up once they have adjusted to civilian life, and want to share some of their comb...
More Answers
How can I monitor my family's plugged-in habits?
Michele BorbaMichele Borba
Over the next few days do an informal reality check of your family. Note the extent each family ...
More Answers
How can addiction affect a family?
Heather Hayes, LPCHeather Hayes, LPC
Addiction affects everyone in the family system; the addict is not the only person who suffers or ...
More Answers
How Can I Blend Different Families Into One Cohesive Unit?
How Can I Blend Different Families Into One Cohesive Unit?

Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.