Question

Sex and Relationships

How can I tell if a man is sexually attracted to me?

A Answers (1)

  • ABonnie Lynn Wright, PhD, Geriatrics Nursing, answered on behalf of Honor Society of Nursing (STTI)

    Men are hard-wired to respond to sexual attraction. It is possible that all men will find you sexually attractive. However, they do not all take action because of the attraction. The executive function in their brain or personality, depending on whose theory you embrace, will quickly take over and squelch the response if it's inappropriate; for example, if you are a subordinate at work, underage, etc. 

    I think the real question is how do you tell which ones will act on that attraction, that is 'how can I tell if a man will approach me because he is attracted to me?'  In my opinion, it depends a great deal on context. If you are sitting three pews back at church, you are out of luck. If you are in a bar on singles night, you'll be fighting them off with a stick!  So if the social context gives him a green light, he will pay attention to his interest in you. The second crucial element is your non-verbal cues. Almost 80% of human communication is non-verbal. So you don't really have to say a word to let him know it's OK to approach you. Your body language will do it for you. 

    Of course, there are cautions. I used to tell my daughters that bad guys don't have it tattooed on their forehead so you can pick them out in a crowd. Not all men who are sexually attracted to you are good guys. For some, sex is the only motive and you happen to be sending out signals. They don't really care who you are as a person. You will get hurt if your expectations are higher than a one-night stand. 

    The biggest warning is for you to know that some bad guys are truly bad; rapists, murderers, etc. They are rare compared to the number of people you will meet who are good, trustworthy folk. But you always should be prepared to save yourself from getting into a situation that you can't get out of and that will cause you serious harm. Be smart; be safe.

    Helpful? 1 person found this helpful.
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