Question

Personality

What is controlling behavior and how do I recognize it?

A Answers (1)

  • ADeepak Chopra, Alternative & Complementary Medicine, answered
    Control is forcing events and people into your way of doing things.Control is the great mask of insecurity. People who use thisbehavior are deathly afraid of letting others be who they are, sothe controller is constantly making demands that keep others offbalance. The underlying idea is "If they keep paying attention tome, they won't run away." When you find yourself making excuses foryourself and blaming others, or when you feel inside that no one isshowing you enough gratitude or appreciation, the fault is not withthem - you are exhibiting a need to control. The external signs ofthis behavior come from those you are trying to control: They aretense and resistant; they complain of not being listened to; theycall you a perfectionist or a demanding boss. Control begins to end when you admit that your way isn'tautomatically the right way. You can tune in to your need forcontrol by catching yourself complaining, blaming, or insistingthat no one is right but you, and coming up with one excuse afteranother to prove that you are without blame yourself. Once you stopcontrolling them, the people around you begin to breathe easy. Theyrelax and laugh. They feel free to be who they are without lookingto you for approval.
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