Dr. Tamar Chansky - What is hostess anxiety?

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Throwing a party and entertaining people is a wonderful thing, except if you have anxiety about it and everyone has some. A lot of times where this comes from is inviting your inner perfectionist to the party and that's really where the problem starts. It's really about expectation management.

If you're thinking that everything has to be perfect that there can be no hitches. Then you're going to have a lot of pressure on yourself and that's going to come across to your guests and that will be counter productive. It's kind of like with social anxiety when you're thinking so much about how you are appearing to other people that distracts you from seeming natural and really focusing on what you're doing.

So the key here is that you want to think about your purpose rather than about perfection. Your purpose in having a party is bringing people together to enjoy each other and to have fun and so you can set that tone by having that mind set yourself. A real practical way of setting that tone is letting people help.

A lot of times we think, oh we are the hostess we have to do everything, everything has to be ready, well yes. You're going to be more relaxed if you're prepared and you're going do that, but what also helps is when people feel that they are a part of things that's when they really have fun.

So when someone ask oh can I help or you need that help, go ahead and do that, you'll relax, they will feel connected, it will just flow out from there and create a really good feeling at your event.