How Can I Deal With Performance Anxiety?

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[MUSIC] hi, I'm sex therapist Sarah Cooper with the Sharecare sex tip. I want to talk about performance anxiety as it relates to both men and women. Performance anxiety is the nervousness or worry you have that you're not going to fulfill your partners expectation for sex. For men, it usually revolves around their erection.

They're very concerned that they can get an erection, maintain an erection, last long enough to pleasure their partners, but for women it's a little different. Their performance anxiety has to do with not knowing whether they know how to touch their partner in the right way, how to tell their partner what really makes them feel good, sometimes they don't and they sort of play along as though they're having a great time.

It's really important to be authentic and honest and don't assume that you are supposed to know everything each person is different each person likes different kind of sensual stimulation so ask a new partner ask your wife or husband because things change over time as well, so what worked for them maybe two years ago may not work for them now, and you can ask them to show you.

If you're uncomfortable with talking about it with the words, you can actually say why don't you take my hand and show me the way you like to be touched, and it's a great way to learn new ways of touching your partner.