How Can I Know If I'm Ready to Have a Child?

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We are back. We're talking about the controversial question, when are you too old to have a baby? Dr. [xx] says there are two questions about motherhood that every woman must ask, write these down. We're going to quiz people in your life about them. First question is why do you want a child? And that's a massive question.

It's a massive question and it's something that we really start thinking about when we were kids because we have this expectation about what we are supposed to do in our lives but you really want it when you're starting to be in your 20s early 30s these ages we're talking about being kind of the most fertile, why do you want have it? Is it to fulfill an emptiness in your life that's not a great reason to have a kid because then you might resent them later.

But is it to bring something to you is it to add to the life you already have in a way that feels good that you feel good about yourself and it's bringing in something in addition just you would have a relationship. You want to really think what is the reason why and really figure that out and then figure out when and that's the hard part.

So let's get to that issue, the question is what are you willing to sacrifice in order to have a baby? Because that drives the one answer. That absolutely drives the one answer and the fact is you are going to be giving something up. This idea that you will be able to have everything is not as easy as we would like it to be, so yes there are great working mothers and research shows that working mothers are actually happier sometimes than stay at home mums but they still are what giving up on being able to be the class mum or be able to be at every PTA meeting or being ale to be in every performance that there child does so you need to figure out what are you willing to give up are you to give up some of the time that you work or maybe that promotion or that extra time with your children.

Seeing you're speaking about financial and personal independence and emotional. Yeah. And emotionally independence.Absolutely you're going to give up some of those things but isn't this what the women have been fighting for the last half a century, to gain that power back? Absolutely but why do you think also this conversation becomes when we don't want to talk about, I want to be able to have it all.

I want to work, I want to have a career, I want to have a kid, I want to have a family, I want be picture past card prefect. Am I creating, we have also created this belief that is 100% possible the media creates it for us, celebrities create it for us, so when having a conversation like this we can take a step back and say, okay wait a second, what are my priorities maybe they have skewed too far the other direction and we need to now going to have to find more of a balance, so we can be both an effective parent and present and we know that kids really need parents who are there and present and involved and present and involved in my own life because that ultimately, will make me a better parent.

So how do I have that ability to have both? Alright, so we've spent a lot of time talking today about things that are important. I don't want to send anyone away from the show with their womanhood tripped away. And I knew you have worked so hard, you've fought for so many years to become empowered in your own lives, but I do have the obligation, I feel, that the honest discussion and push through to have that with yourself as well.

I want you to think about this, imagine yourself 25 years down the road, how would you deal with to regret of not having a baby? And when you do a life review, are you going to be okay with the the decisions that you have made that got you there? That is my plea to you, now that you know all the risks and the opportunities, make those decisions earlier in life, because running away them, that's going to push where you want to be.

I want to thank all my guests very much for participating in the wonderful insights, the very honest discussions that we've had today, my final thoughts when we return.