How Do I Know If I Am Enabling Someone?

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So Brenda, remember I mentioned folks are fascinated by Derrick? Yes. They are just as fascinated by you, and your relationship with Collin. I mean a lot of people write to us and asking us questions about what's going on in your lives. Cause it seems really messy to a lot of people in the outside.

Let me just ask you very directly. Do you think you're guilty of enabling Collin? Collin was 500 pounds when she graduated in high school. Yeah, I mean of course, she had to be enabled at some point. It is, I totally say yes. But again, I at the time Collin graduated high school probably weighed almost 400 pounds myself, So.

How about today? I mean today, it's a different world. You learned I think a little bit from the life that you've had. I still see Collins stepping in the wrong direction. Yeah, and I don't know so much but that is my fault any more. I mean I can't continue to take the blame for everything.

Alright we've got to fix this. Yes I agree. If this relationship doesn't get fixed, your progress is got to stop. So I have got challenge for both of you. Okay. And Derick you're in this to so you pay attention now. Alright, I want you because you got to move on on your life. I want you to move in with your mom for five days.

Oh my God! I feel much worse for her right now than I do hear myself, believe me. You may go [XX] a little while but here's the deal Colin. So you are not moving in to take advantage of your mum or to let her enable you. You're going to do all the cooking. You're going to take care of these little nitty gritty stuff that some people have been doing for you and you can not control the world around you, you're going to have to drive this thing and if you continue you with your 30-minute workout and you know what you can do it together.

Okay. Alright? Yeah, okay. And then I want you Brenda because you are just accountable. You are just as accountable to your daughter on this issue. You go to do the same thing she is doing. The food she's eating you got to be able to eat. Now at the end of every day, for five minutes, I want you guys to look at each other and tell you why you love each other.

I'm just trying to teach you, share with you insides that a lot of folks have gone[xx] over the years. Because what you're describing is not unique. You need to hear from each other about why you give a darn about each other. I think that communication, that dial-up between a mother and daughter be open, for five minutes.

Set the clock and do it. I'm telling you it's going to forever and clean after five days, five days, I'm going to have you take a shoe box. I'm going to have you write down all of the past issue you guys have had. The guilty, anger, the frustration, the let-downs, I want that all in there and I want to take that thing off back and bury it, I want it gone.

This relationship has to heal, you can not heal, alright? I understand that. Derrick my friend. Oh Lord, now that I got everybody out of the house, you got five days my buddy to go out and keep looking for that job and make it happen. I want you to come back here with a paste up. You all agree to do this? Because if you all do this, they can Collin's life.

Let me see it, yes? Okay, that not okay. That's not the same thing. Yes, absolutely. Yes I heard it, thanks to all of you guys. Hey you are going to be cooking for me. I want to thanks Palleys [XX] for coming to our aid and helpful with the training. Frank and therapist [XX] collapsing I will be wonderfully, will right back.