How to Talk to Your Partner About Low Sex Drive

Medically reviewed in October 2021

Do you ever daydream about how exciting sex used to be with your partner? If you're missing the "good old days" filled with fun, spur-of-the-moment encounters, here’s your to-do list: One, if your sex drive is flagging, you owe it to yourself to find out why. Then it's time to talk about it with your partner.

Finding Out Why Is Key
Maybe you just don't feel like pursuing sex like you used to. Or, perhaps you and your partner are struggling with physical changes, such as weaker erections, vaginal dryness or even problems reaching orgasm, which may contribute to your lack of sexual interest. Keep in mind, just about every aspect of your physical and mental health, as well as the health of your relationship, can affect your sex drive, including:

  • Age
  • Illnesses (arthritis, cancer, diabetes, heart disease)
  • Medications
  • Lifestyle habits (drinking, smoking)
  • Exhaustion / fatigue
  • Hormonal changes (menopause, low testosterone, pregnancy)
  • Psychological problems (depression, anxiety, past traumatic event)
  • Relationship issues (infidelity, lack of connection

Whatever's causing your low sex drive, it's essential to work with your doctor and get to the root of the problem. Only then will you have the tools necessary to help you recapture the magic in the bedroom and get your love life back on track.

Get Motivated to Start a Conversation
But if you're having trouble taking the steps to get the treatment you need to overcome your low libido, talking about your sexual issues with your partner from the get-go may be just what you need to get the ball rolling. We know it can be tough to discuss these concerns with anyone, even -- maybe especially -- your partner. And there's no shame that! Just remember to consider your partner's feelings in how you approach the topic. Be open and honest about your expectations and how often you want to have sex, emphasize your love for your partner, always be open to compromise, and don't hesitate to schedule dates for sex, either.

With all of the resources you have available, you can be confident that there is hope to overcome low sex drive. So, be bold in your efforts as you discuss your low sex drive concerns with your partner. And get ready to regain what you thought was long gone.  

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