Why you can't just 'don't' your way out of unhealthy habits

Psychologist and author, Emily Balcetis teaches us that we can’t “don’t” our way out of bad habits. Emily reminds us that there is a difference between indulging and overindulging.

Transcript

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[MUSIC PLAYING] We need to think about the space that triggers or that excites us to do those kinds of actions.

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And not just cut it out, but replace them with something else.

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When we're trying to get rid of bad habits, it can be really difficult for us because sometimes, the strategies that we use might not be the most effective.

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Don't smoke. Don't get a cigarette. Don't do this. Don't do that. Don't do that. As I say the word don't, it just get stuck in your head.

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That can be the glue that puts it in there and puts that temptation as a continual reminder.

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The saying that don't might be the whole reason that we actually do. So if we want to stop the temptation, what

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we might do instead is to allow ourselves to enjoy it just a little bit. Continuing to say, no, you can't have this, don't do that,

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might be an impossible task for ourselves that we are just going to fall off the band wagon trying

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to maintain. We can stave off that urge by succumbing just a small amount and actually be able to, in the long run,

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do it less if we give in just a little bit on occasion. Our environments are a big trigger for the choices

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that we make. So if we're trying to cut something out of our daily repertoire, we also need to change our environment.

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If we, oftentimes, take smoke breaks around the corner with the same group of people, not only should we avoid that corner, not only should we

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keep the cigarettes at home or even out of the house, but we also need to replace that environment. We need to choose a new environment.

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And we need to choose to fill that environment with other people that are going to support our alternative choice that we're making.

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When we want to quit something, it can be challenging because it might feel overwhelming. The rest of my life, I have to make this choice.

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For the rest of my life, I have to quit this thing. That's a long-term goal of continually,

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effortlessly deciding not to do something. So we need to break it down. We need to take it one day at a time. After we've done this for today, for tomorrow,

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for Wednesday, for Thursday, for Friday, we can reflect on our experience. Now, if we're thinking, all right, I've gotten through a week and now I have the next 50 years

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of my life to continue to make this hard choice, that's going to make it feel overwhelming. Instead, look back. Reflect on the past and all of the days

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that we have counted up that we have made that hard and healthy choice, and that will motivate us to continue

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to do it moving forward. Take a deep breath in.

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MAN: Mindset is everything. I'm not 90 for nothing. Small steps, one motion.