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Health TopicsWomen's Health
question

What is the fantasy of conception sex?

Dr. Hilda Y. Hutcherson, MD
Dr. Hilda Y. Hutcherson, MD on behalf of Good In Bed
OBGYN (Obstetrician & Gynecologist)
answer

We approach conception sex with the fantasy that every time we make love, it will be meaningful and special. In this fantasy, you recognize the exact moment you conceive because you and you partner are so filled with love for each other and your baby. The clouds part, the angels sing. It’s a beautiful image, no doubt. But for many couples, the reality of trying to conceive can be much less dreamy—and a whole lot more stressful.

Some couples get pregnant right away. Others find themselves grappling with infertility issues. Most of us fall somewhere in the middle. But even this period of trying can be, well, trying. With trysts often scheduled around ovulation, you may find your sex life loses its spontaneity. This sort of “sex on demand” may seem appealing at first, over time, it can make men feel like their only purpose is to procreate. Suddenly, something that was spontaneous and unpredictable has become routine and scheduled. Also, with conception sex, we often skip the niceties of foreplay and go straight for the intercourse. Sex can start to feel like a chore for both parties.

The Good in Bed Guide to Sex and the Baby Years

More About this Book

The Good in Bed Guide to Sex and the Baby Years
Available at a substantial discount for a limited time only, thanks to support from K-Y(R) Brand!Once you get down to the business of baby-making, the advice will pour in: books, magazines, in-laws, you name it - everyone will have something to say! But there's one thing that nobody will be talking about: your sex life--how it will change, and why you should cling to it, as passionately as you'll cling to that new bundle of life with the big eyes and winning smile.That's where this book comes in. Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, MD is a distinguished OB/GYN, an author of numerous best-selling books on the subject of sexual health, a candid advocate of healthy sex on shows such as Oprah, and, most importantly, a wife and mom of four - this lady knows what she's talking about!From the pressures of conceiving, to the fumblings of pregnancy sex, to the exhaustion of baby boot-camp and the ongoing trick of not letting your new identities as parents subsume your identity as a couple, having a baby isn't just an event, it's a milestone: a series of events that signifies a true transition into adulthood and marks a clear division between then and now. Available at a substantial discount for a limited time only, thanks to support from K-Y(R) Brand "Sex and the Baby Years" is about navigating that milestone - going in one way, and coming out changed on the other end. But also staying connected and loving throughout the process.About This Author:A graduate of Stanford University and Harvard medical School, Dr. Hutcherson is presently a Clinical Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology and Associate Dean of Diversity at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. Hilda lives in Westchester New York, with her husband and four children.Dr. Hutcherson's commitment to women's health is evidenced by her monthly women's health column in Redbook Magazine where she is also a contributing editor. She is a frequent contributor to Essence Magazine, where she had a monthly column for eight years. She is a frequent invited speaker on Women's Health and Sexuality, and has appeared on many national television programs, including Oprah, the Racheal Ray Show, the TODAY Show, Good Morning America, the CBS Early Show, 20/20, Dr. Oz and others. Dr Hutcherson is the author of three books, including the best-seller: "What Your Mother Never told You About Sex."
Good In Bed
Good In Bed
answer

At first, it’s a dream come true for many men: a partner who wants sex, wants a lot of it, and wants it now. But over time, this can wear thin. When sex is timed around ovulation, with the sole goal of procreation, foreplay and your emotional connection can go right out the window. Men can start to feel used and women can get resentful when men don’t comply.

When you’ve got a one-track mind (“sex equals baby”), it can be easy to lose sight of the bigger picture: your life together as a couple. Counteract the pressure to procreate by rediscovering romance, in and out of bed. Send flirty emails during the day—and not necessarily just during ovulation—promising all the sexy things you’ll do later that night. Do little things to help each other out around the house. Give each other massages. You can’t escape the fact that sex will always have a bigger agenda when you’ve ovulating, but you can try to put the love back in lovemaking.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.