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How will I know that I need to change?

Sheila Dunnells
Addiction Medicine
The point to keep in mind is that the only person you can change is yourself. No one else! So, if things are not working in a relationship/career/ lifestyle choice, something has to change, and it has to be you.

It can mean leaving a relationship, job, friends or anyone or any place when it is not working for you. However, if you begin to see a pattern of things not working out and you are the common denominator, you must sift through the ashes and be honest about what you did or did not contribute to its failure. If you seriously cannot see your part, seek the impartial input of a professional.
Richard Walsh
Social Work
If you are asking this question then likely you sense a need for change. Often we start the "change" process by believing that if we change others then we will change our own  experience in life for the better. Eventually we learn this can be exhausting and very difficult if not impossible to accomplish. Imagine wanting to change yourself, such as losing weight or quitting smoking. You are very motivated, but it can be a dificult process. Now try imagining trying to change someone else who may not even want to change!! Get the picture. The key to successful change is to focus on areas within your control. One more key to create personal change is to start first by loving yourself exactly the way you are!
Renee Ross
Social Work
The philospher Barkely stated "Change is a constant" however despite this truism most of us don't like change. In fact, people usually change only when it becomes too uncomfortable to continue what they have  previously done. In other words...what works... doesn't work anymore
Lisa Oz
Health Education

I can hear the collective, "Hell no, they are the ones who need to change!" I know where you are coming from. Unless you want to wait twenty years to find out for yourself, believe me when I assure you: It is not going to happen. Or, at least, you are not going to make it happen. Once this truth sets in, and you realize that you are not the king of the universe and cannot make everyone else do your bidding, as sensible and benevolent as it might be, the question that arises is "Now what?"

It became clear to me that what I needed to do was to let go of my need to blame someone else and be really honest with myself - about myself - acknowledging the fact that my behavior was partly responsible for the situation.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.