Buddies are multifunctional: They’re your power strip, because they can provide you energy when you need it. They’re your security guard, because they can help you stay accountable when you slip off track. They’re your light pole, because they illuminate knowledge when you have gaps. They’re your safety net, because they’re a secure place to tumble when you’re struggling. And ultimately, if you choose wisely, they’re your dance partner, because they work with you rhythmically and instinctually to move through life with grace, vitality and a smile.
Friendship
Recently Answered
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Karen R Koenig , Psychology, answeredSometimes you meet someone and you get on like a house on fire. You’re on the phone with each other every free minute, can’t wait ’til the next time you get together, and feel as if your life has changed just by knowing each other. The feeling is infatuation, similar to what you experience with a lover or someone you’re romantically interested in. You think your instant buddy is special, one in a million, and she feels the same way; such a sensation is heady and exciting. Often, these wildfires burn down to a steady low flame and you continue to warm each other’s hearts for years to come. The mutuality, pleasure, sharing, and interdependence deepen and you’ve made a friend for life. When I say, “Lucky you!” I mean it; close friends are an absolute treasure.
However, sometimes the initial blaze masks relational dysfunction, an unconscious need for each other that isn’t healthy. You’re swept up in your friend’s tragic life story and see yourself as her savior; she requires a great deal of attention and you become her salvation. Actually, the motivations of relationship are not generally this clear (unless you’re someone who reflects a great deal on her behavior). Things just feel right (that is, familiar): Your urge to take care of what’s frail and fragile intersects with your friend’s need to be taken care of. The fit feels perfect, but it’s all wrong.
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See All 2 AnswersFriendship and intimacy are needed for mental and emotional well-being as we age. Studies have shown that those with poor relationship skills have
- more isolation depression
- weakness or debility and
- increased rates of illness in old age
On the other hand, folks who get more involved in supportive and meaningful relationships have
- better health
- more social capital and
- positive sense of well-being even if they are physically frail and elderly
Quality of our friendships has more positive impact on health than quantity. The quality of our relationships really does have an impact on our life choices, our behavior, and ultimately, our emotional health. Too much isolation with poor social intimacy can lead to anxiety or a reduced ability to trust others - which are common factors among those who have committed destructive acts like suicide or bullying. Having loads of loose friendships or acquaintances physically present is not enough to satisfy us either. If we don’t feel a sense of secure intimacy and emotional attachment in any of our relationships we suffer greatly no matter how many people we surround ourselves with. Building a balance of both loose and closely related friendships seems to help us meet our overall health needs a lot better than having either extremes. If you want to live your best life, be sure to seek out and nurture diverse high quality friendships that encourage, support, and spur you on.
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Dr. Mehmet Oz, MD , Cardiology (Cardiovascular Disease), answeredFor a busy mom, the best way to stay connected is to find a buddy at work or with another parent of your child’s friends. A good friend will keep your blood pressure low and decrease weight. This is because if the friend shares the same goals, you are more likely to adopt his or her habits. Having a friend also improves your immune system by warding off depression. Depression has been linked to infection by inhibiting the fighting ability of your immune system’s T-cells. It doesn’t have to be one friend. Group participation works, too--religious groups, social groups, and work groups are all beneficial. Try multitasking, like taking a walk with a friend or enrolling in a group tennis lesson--you’ll get exercise and socialization all at once for a double heart boost. -
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Dr. Michael Roizen, MD , Internal Medicine, answeredSee All 2 AnswersWhile spending happy times with friends and loved ones is a pleasure and may feel like an indulgence, it's actually a RealAge (physiologic age) must. Although for years scientists discredited the effect of social factors on biological health, study after study has confirmed the importance of social connections. Studies have shown repeatedly that the effect of interpersonal relationships on stress responses is not only psychological but also physiologic. These ties can actually affect the number of immune cells you have, which can in turn affect your resistance to disease and cancer. Social connections make your immune system younger and reduce stress. -
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Dr. Charles J. Sophy, MD , Adolescent Medicine, answeredSee All 2 AnswersHaving lots of friends can increase your enjoyment of life and relieve feelings of loneliness. They even can improve your health by helping to reduce stress, especially helpful when you are going through any kind of hard time; experiencing anxiety or panic attacks, depression, phobias or delusional thinking; living with a serious illness or disability; having major surgery; having a loss in your life; or just being challenged by many stressors. -
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Make healthy choices when you get together with your friends. Find fun ways to get physical activity like walking, dancing, gardening, or swimming. When eating out or cooking at home, be sure to include fruits and vegetables and other foods rich in vitamins and minerals. Avoid foods and beverages high in calories, saturated fat or added sugars and salt.
- Be active for at least two and a half hours a week. Children and teens need at least one hour of activity daily.
- Exercise with friends and get the many benefits of regular physical activity.
- Maintain a healthy weight. Avoid portion size pitfalls. Split an entrée with a friend.
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RealAge answeredWhen you socialize with coworkers about last night's episode of The Daily Show, it isn't just quick conversation that's good for a laugh. Researchers think it might help save your life. In a study of 1,000 officemates, it seemed that strong social support from peers on the job actually helped boost longevity.
Friends with BenefitsWhy are friends -- in or out of the workplace -- so great for our health? It turns out that besides the obvious emotional support, friends may also help us make healthier choices -- like grabbing a side salad instead of french fries and taking a walk after dinner instead of surfing the tube. And of course, friends can help with stress. In fact, many psychologists now think that without a strong base of social support, people are much more vulnerable to the damaging effects of stressful living.
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Dr. Joel H. Fuhrman, MD , Family Medicine, answeredKnowing that you have a group of friends, who help you to be a better person and with whom you have something in common, raises your emotional health and self-confidence. It is far easier to change and transition into a healthy lifestyle when you have the support of others doing the same. The more your group embraces and supports you in your efforts to eat healthier and live a health-supporting lifestyle, the easier this becomes. Our American reference group is a nation eating itself to death, committing suicide with their knives and forks. Given that, it is helpful to have support when attempting to move away from the dietary norm. If you have a real and tangible like-minded social group, you are much less likely to be affected by the artificial ones created by advertisers, marketers, and technology. If you want to get healthy, hang around other healthy people and others striving to be healthy. -
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Girlfriends can support your efforts, work out with you and call your attention to matters you may be ignoring. Here are some tips to help you and your girlfriends stay healthy and safe.
- Be active and eat healthy. Make healthy choices when you get together with your friends.
- Get regular exams and screenings. Friends can encourage each other to get their regular health exams and screenings, which can help find problems early, and help to identify which ones to focus your attention for better health.
- Share tips with your friends on everything from having a healthy pregnancy to preventing sexually transmitted infections.
- Give up drugs, alcohol and tobacco. Friends can be important sources of support if you trying to give up smoking or drinking. Resources are also available for people who are trying to quit or cut down on drinking or give up smoking.
- Prescription drug overdoses are a growing epidemic among women. You and your girlfriends share a lot of things; medications shouldn’t be one of them.