Advertisement

What are common misconceptions women have about premature ejaculation?

Madeleine M. Castellanos, MD
Psychiatry
The following are common misconceptions women have about premature ejaculation (PE):
  • PE is a sign of passion: At first, you might feel flattered by PE. It's easy to misinterpret it as an indication that he's so hot for you, he can't hold back. Some guys may let you believe this -- it boosts your ego and lets him off the hook in disclosing his PE. But doing so sets up a bogus relationship between his sexual disorder and your sexual self-esteem. In most men with PE -- particularly chronic, lifelong PE -- the dysfunction has little or nothing to do with their sex partner.
  • He's just not that into you: On the flip side, you may view his PE -- or the way he deals with it -- as a sign that he's not interested. That's because many guys with PE tend to avoid foreplay or sex altogether as a way of hiding the problem -- out of sight, out of mind. Or they may make up excuses to eschew sex after foreplay so that you don't discover that they've already ejaculated. But guys who act like this aren't fooling anyone, and you're left feeling confused and undesired.
  • He's sexually selfish: When a guy finishes fast, it's easy to misconstrue his PE as a "wham, bam, thank you, ma'am" approach. While some men may have this boorish attitude, the typical guy with PE is usually overly sensitive -- often to the point of obsessing over his performance.
  • He's inexperienced: If you're uninformed about the condition, you might think that PE is a sign of immaturity or inexperience. And who could blame you? If a man doesn't discuss PE and what it really is, your only exposure to it may be the way it's portrayed in movies or TV shows. That leaves you with an image of an overly horny adolescent who can't control himself. Yet, that's often hardly the case. Guys with PE can be very experienced, mature, and tuned in to their partners' needs -- but they can't translate those intentions into actions.
  • He's a bore in bed: With time, men with PE often develop a pre-defined plan for sex -- a script, if you will. It can be helpful for dealing with PE, but you don't know why he's following this "script," you're liable to believe that he just wants to have sex the same way, over and over again.

Continue Learning about Premature Ejaculation

How do I know if I have premature ejaculation?
Ian Kerner, PhDIan Kerner, PhD
To find out whether you probably have premature ejaculation (PE), answer the following questions: ...
More Answers
What is the role of neurotransmitters in premature ejaculation?
Madeleine M. Castellanos, MDMadeleine M. Castellanos, MD
The neurotransmitters (chemical messengers) serotonin and dopamine appear to be involved in prem...
More Answers
How Can Masturbating Help Me Manage Premature Ejaculation?
How Can Masturbating Help Me Manage Premature Ejaculation?
How Can I Talk About My Premature Ejaculation with My Partner?
How Can I Talk About My Premature Ejaculation with My Partner?

Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.