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Why is talking about my sexual fantasies important in my sex life?

Ian Kerner, PhD
Sexual Health
Fantasy plays a huge part in your sex life. Let me be clear: I’m not recommending that you necessarily act out your fantasies, but I am recommending that you share them. If she asks you if the fantasy is something you’re actually interested in, tell her you really enjoy just talking about it. Common fantasies for men and women push taboos and involve exhibitionism, voyeurism, submission, domination, and other themes. While almost everyone has a rich fantasy life, most people are comfortable keeping them in the realm of fantasy, as opposed to reality. The very act of sharing fantasies can appeal to your partner’s sense of imagination and make her feel wanted. In fact, sex researchers have found that some women can orgasm just from thinking about sex -- without being touched at all. While that’s a rare talent, it goes to show that you should never underestimate the role of sexy conversation. Want to get her off? Try “thinking” her off.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.