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How can being asked to hold my orgasm affect me with premature ejaculation?

Ian Kerner, PhD
Sexual Health
When you realize that many women are unfamiliar with the concepts of ejaculatory inevitability (when a man can’t hold back his orgasm) and ejaculatory threshold (the amount of stimulation a man can take before inevitability is reached), it makes sense that they want to get their guy as turned on as possible. But that’s the wrong approach for men with premature ejaculation (PE). In some ways, one of the worst things a woman can say to a man with PE is to ask him to “wait” to have his orgasm. In fact, the stress of being told to wait until you’re ready is likely to speed up ejaculatory inevitability. All this can make it really difficult to bring a woman to orgasm through intercourse. Because each woman is different -- and her ability to orgasm can fluctuate -- you can’t judge whether you have PE based on how long it takes her to come. But, in general, men with PE can’t last long enough to satisfy a woman during vaginal intercourse. No wonder many men with PE are constantly worried about sexual failure.


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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.