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What can I do if I don't get lubricated quickly enough during sex?

Madeleine M. Castellanos, MD
Psychiatry
Many times couples, and women themselves, get discouraged during foreplay or sex play because they are not getting lubricated quickly. Men often interpret this as the woman not being excited by him or by what they are doing. Women may start to wonder if there is something wrong with them. Obviously, these negative interpretations can put a big damper on sexual excitement and sexual desire. The trick is to keep the stimulation going so that eventually, the lubrication will start to flow. Some women prefer to start off with some artificial water-based lube until her own wetness kicks in, and some women find that they can only get properly lubricated if they feel themselves already wet, either with saliva, pre-cum, or artificial lube. Many women do not even feel that they have sexual desire until they have had direct physical stimulation for 5 or 10 minutes, and this may be one contributing factor. Because of this, it can be very helpful to continue building on sexual excitement and use an alternative lube source as mentioned above to get things started. Don't immediately assume that there is no sexual excitement happening and have this hijack your sex life.  It is one of the reasons that artificial lube exists and the second best use for saliva.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.