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How can I overcome my performance anxiety about sex?

Emily Nagoski
Emily Nagoski on behalf of Good In Bed
Psychology

The key to managing performance anxiety is to notice that you’re worrying and then do something about it. Simple. But it requires practice. Lots and lots of practice. It will probably be easiest if you begin by practicing outside the context of sexuality -- say, standing in line at the grocery store or sitting on the bus, notice how your arms and legs feel, how your stomach feels, what you’re thinking about, the speed with which you’re thinking, how what you’re thinking is making your shoulders and belly feel. Your breath. In. Pause. Out. Pause. Just notice. The most important thing to notice is when your attention wanders from the thing you’re trying to notice. That skill right there? That’s mindfulness. Noticing when your attention wanders from the thing you’re trying to notice is the skill that will help you stop spectatoring, because you’ll learn to notice when you’re spectatoring and then redirect your attention to the sensations in your body.

The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms

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The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms

Want to learn how to achieve 487 different kinds of orgasms?If so, you’re reading the wrong guidebook. Despite what many in the media would have you believe, there’s no such thing as a rainbow...

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.