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What happens if both partners are responsive desire-types?

Emily Nagoski
Emily Nagoski on behalf of Good In Bed
Psychology

Problematic dynamics emerge when one or both partners in a relationship are responsive desire types. In a differential desire scenario, the spontaneous desire type partner may feel rejected and undesirable because they always have to initiate, and then the responsive person may start to feel pushed and will resist more. In a dual responsive desire relationship, you might end up hardly ever having sex because neither one of you wants to start. (This is a really good theory to explain the putative “lesbian bed death.”) Suppose you’re a responsive desire person. You now know that that’s totally normal, you’re not broken, and it’s really okay that it doesn’t often occur to you to have sex.

The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms

More About this Book

The Good in Bed Guide to Female Orgasms

Want to learn how to achieve 487 different kinds of orgasms?If so, you’re reading the wrong guidebook. Despite what many in the media would have you believe, there’s no such thing as a rainbow...

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.