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Guys, What Really Makes Intimacy Sparkle?

Guys, What Really Makes Intimacy Sparkle?

If you’re watching a Honeymooner marathon during the holidays, you may come across this famous Ralph and Alice moment.

Ralph: (to Alice) Let`s get one thing straight right now, right here: a man`s home is just like his ship. And I am the captain of this ship. You`re … a lowly, third-class seaman. Your duties are to get the mess, swab the deck and see that the captain feels good… Where are you going?
Alice: Seaman Kramden third class is retiring to the poop deck until this big wind blows over.

Although most episodes, like this one, end with Ralph declaring: “Baby, you’re the greatest,” it seems the two of them might share a bit more, ahem, spark, if Ralph helped out around the house.

Interestingly, two studies examining men’s participation in household chores and a couples’ frequency of sex have come to opposite conclusions. One (from Spain) implied that men who do household chores have sex with their partners less frequently than guys who follow more traditional roles. The other (Canadian) claimed men who pitch in around the house have more frequent sex with their partner.

We say picking up a dishtowel or refusing to fold the laundry won’t improve your sex life! It’s not that simple.

Mutually enjoyable intimacy requires communication about generally shared values (in the kitchen and bedroom) and agreement on responsibilities (including financial), whether they’re traditional or not. Bottom line: Determine what you can do to make life less stressful for your partner and the sparks will fly.

Medically reviewed in January 2020.

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