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Faking It Isn't Fooling Anyone

Faking It Isn't Fooling Anyone

Do you fake it in the bedroom? You may not be as great at acting as you think. Turns out both men and women know when their partner is faking it -- no matter how hard the other person is trying to be convincing. Researchers from Canada’s Waterloo University compared a couple’s perception of each other’s sexual satisfaction with what each person said it was -- and bingo -- the significant others got it right most of the time!

So why do around 28% of men and 68% of women say they sometimes fake an orgasm? Seems it’s not to express passion, but to let their partner think all the moves are working or to get things done more quickly. But, listen up. Since your partner actually knows whether you’re satisfied or not, faking it can build resentment and frustration.

The researchers suggest that an effective way to achieve mutual satisfaction is to cut out the acting. Actually telling one another what’s working  -- and what isn’t -- lets partners develop sexual patterns they both enjoy and lets them “decide whether to stick with a current routine or try something new.” And, they remind couples, over time you form routines for how you share intimacy -- they might as well be ones that make you both happy.

Medically reviewed in January 2020.

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