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How can I add fun to my relationship?

Dr. Stan Tatkin, MFT, PsyD
Marriage & Family Therapy
Firstly, are YOU fun? If you’re not, then why not? If you are a fun person but your partner is not, well… that doesn’t sound like a lot of fun. If both of you are fun people, you’re probably not asking this question. So let’s go with the assumption that either or both of you are not fun-oriented in which case you will have to work out the fun issue because no matter where you go or what you do, one or both of you won’t have fun. Get it? Okay, let’s assume that you are both fun people who have become complacent and overworked and have forgotten how to spell the word ADVENTURE! Get off your duffs and schedule something totally outside both of your experience. There are only a million of those kind of things out there. Stop, look, and pick. 
 
Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship

More About this Book

Wired for Love: How Understanding Your Partner's Brain and Attachment Style Can Help You Defuse Conflict and Build a Secure Relationship

"What the heck is my partner thinking?" is a common refrain in romantic relationships, and with good reason. Every person is wired for love differently, with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people's minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and rituals, making it possible to actually neurologically prime the brain for greater love and fewer conflicts. Wired for Love is a complete insider’s guide to understanding your partner’s brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing research findings on how and why love lasts drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this book presents ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. Strengthen your relationship by: Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening rituals to stay connected Learning to fight so that nobody loses Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By learning to use simple gestures and words, readers can learn to put out emotional fires and help their partners feel more safe and secure. The no-fault view of conflict in this book encourages readers to move past a "warring brain" mentality and toward a more cooperative "loving brain" understanding of the relationship. This book is essential reading for couples and others interested in understanding the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you can discover how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences to create a lasting intimate connection.

Having fun with your spouse deepens feelings of trust and intimacy, but fun rarely happens spontaneously. Schedule a regular date night on the calendar and put some thought into it. Try a new restaurant. Be a tourist in your hometown by visiting museums and sporting events. If you have a hobby you want to develop, perhaps you can share a class.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.