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Why are goals important in a relationship?

Dr. Stan Tatkin, MFT, PsyD
Marriage & Family Therapy
Common goals are important, just as common principles that guide a relationship are vital to the safety and security of the relationship. Common goals provide shared interests along with shared investments in each other and in the direction of the relationship. More importantly, however, are shared principles that guide the relationship. These principles should be explicit and should serve both a personal good and a mutual good. In addition, partners should know each other’s personal goals and should remain committed to helping each achieve those goals, if not at the same time then in sequence.
Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate

More About this Book

Wired for Dating: How Understanding Neurobiology and Attachment Style Can Help You Find Your Ideal Mate

In the age of online dating, finding a real connection can seem more daunting than ever! So, why not stack the odds of finding the right person in your favor? This book offers simple, proven-effective principles drawn from neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find the perfect mate.Everybody wants someone to love and spend time with, and searching for your ideal partner is a natural and healthy human tendency. Just about everyone dates at some point in their lives, yet few really understand what they're doing or how to get the best results. In Wired for Dating, psychologist and relationship expert Stan Tatkin—author of Wired for Love—offers powerful tips based in neuroscience and attachment theory to help you find a compatible mate and go on to create a fabulous relationship.Using real-life scenarios, you’ll learn key concepts about how people become attracted to potential partners, move toward or away from commitment, and the important role the brain and nervous system play in this process. Each chapter explores the scientific concepts of attachment theory, arousal regulation, and neuroscience. And with a little practice, you’ll learn to apply these exercises and practical techniques to your dating life.If you’re ready to get serious (or not!) about dating, meet your match, and have more fun, this book will be your guide.

Collective goals nurture happiness between you and your partner, because you're working toward something together. They can build upon each other's strengths. These goals can be short-term, such as arranging a weekly date night, or long-term, such as saving money for a house or a vacation. The partner who is a whiz with finances can establish a budget while the partner who loves to plan researches hotels and prices. Discuss steps to make your goals happen, and adjust them as needed. Be sure to talk about any plans that would change the goals, such as making a career move or going back to school.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.