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How can I say what I really mean?

Karen R Koenig
Psychology

To say what you really mean, you should do as follows:

  • Think long and hard before responding to requests and demands.
  • Stop feeling guilty when you say no, or ride out the guilt.
  • Risk not getting approval if you need to confront or challenge someone.
  • Recognize that it’s not your job to make everyone else feel better.
  • Acknowledge that you’re allowed to be imperfect and make mistakes.
  • Let people know in an appropriate way, in the moment or after the fact, when they’ve hurt you.
  • Keep track of what you’re feeling so that you can speak the truth about what’s going on inside you.
  • Give yourself time to understand what you really think, before putting emotions into words.
  • Learn to tolerate feeling uncomfortable when you’ve been honest and direct and someone is upset (because nine out of ten times, he or she will get over it).
  • Realize that it’s far better to feel good about yourself for being honest than bad about yourself for lying to avoid conflict.
  • Understand that self-trust develops from decisions that make you proud.
  • Recognize that no one (except sadists) enjoys hurting someone’s feelings but that healthy people do it to take care of themselves.
  • Recognize that you have every right to say what is on your mind in an appropriate, timely manner no matter what anyone tells you.

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Important: This content reflects information from various individuals and organizations and may offer alternative or opposing points of view. It should not be used for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. As always, you should consult with your healthcare provider about your specific health needs.