How do my parents' emotional boundaries affect me?

Deepak Chopra
Alternative & Complementary Medicine
Fear can be dispelled, even when it runs extremely deep, but fear must be respected until you find a way to release it. Ask yourself how much fear, distress, and anxiety your parents felt comfortable talking to you about. (I am referring to their own pain, not the pain you brought to them when you felt troubled, although that toowill give you some indications.) If you recall that your father hid any trace of anxiety, even when money was tight or his job was injeopardy or serious illness threatened, you have demarked a boundary that you may feel reluctant to cross today, now that you are an adult. If your mother suffered in silence or passively  accepted that anxious situations could not be dealt with, again you have demarked a boundary that you may have internalized as a child.

Emotional boundaries are passed on from one generation to the next.Therapists can spend years with some patients before they will openup. Respect your defenses even while working to dissolve them.Inner walls don't come crashing down; they melt. So don't thinkanyone expects you to bravely assault your defenses and plungethrough them like a warrior. Your greatest weapons are willingness,honesty, and patience.

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