Parenting

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    A , Psychology, answered
    A University of California at Davis study followed 7,500 tweens for seven years and found those with the highest self-esteems were raised in homes that were warm but also less permissive. Translation: they lived in a household that had structure, clear rules and a parent who was not afraid to say no. Even more convincing? In a study by the University of Minnesota it was discovered that the more materialistic a child is, the less happy and appreciative he is, which actually increases his risk for depression.

    My first advice to parents is to take an honest assessment of their parenting by using what I call the Wall-Mart Test. How does your child respond to being told ‘no’ in the toy and candy aisle?  And how often do you have to repeat yourself before she knows you are serious? The average kid whines nine times before getting her way. So don’t give in.

    If you are prone to saying yes too easily, use stall tactics like telling your child ‘maybe’ or that you plan to think about it. It will give you time so you can say no a bit more fervently because you know it’s the right thing to do. When you do say no, make sure you mean it. And if your kid asks why, simply tell them that ‘no’ builds their character and raises their self- esteem.”
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    A , Marriage & Family Therapy, answered

    There are many reasons why treating a daughter as a friend can be damaging. Perhaps the critical one is the effect it can have on your children's sexual relationships. One of the most surprising phenomena I've seen in my practice is the permissiveness with which parents approach their daughters' sexuality. One mother whom I was treating talked about her 19-year-old daughter's sexual escapades as if she had just been accepted into an elite college. "The last guy who slept over was hot, hot, hot," she said, practically salivating. She failed to see how inappropriate it was for a 43-year-old women to be viewing her 19-year-old daughter as a friend, rather than a child who needs to learn moderation and responsibility around sex. I think this approach is endemic among parents of millennials. They are raising a generation of self-absorbed children who do not have an appreciation for true intimacy and authentic connection with another human being.

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    A , Psychology, answered

    Here is simple behavior makeover to help your child open up and talk more:

    Go to a place your kid enjoys- his zone- the batting cage - the mall. Your child will be more relaxed because he's in his territory and is more likely to open up. Some kids (especially boys) talk more when they are doing something. So find active things your child likes to do (kicking the soccer ball, building Legos, shooting baskets), and talk then. Tailor the topic around your child's interests: her CD collection, his baseball cards. He'll be more likely to discuss what's going on in his life. Ask questions that require more than a one-word answer: "What would you have done differently in the game?"

    Whatever you try remember to consistently use the method until you do get the change you want.


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    A , Internal Medicine, answered
    Children who are adopted both internationally and from within the United States are two to three times as likely to have developmental problems as nonadopted children. Adopted children are also more likely to have behavior problems and attachment issues. Internationally adopted children often do not come with completely accurate records including date of birth and often have infectious disease issues like intestinal parasites or nutritional issues like anemia. They need careful, thoughtful evaluation and monitoring. There are pediatricians who specialize in international adoptions and who are knowledgeable about specific health issues; it's worth seeking one out in your area.
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    A , Adolescent Medicine, answered

    Keep the explanation simple and age appropriate. Young children are literal so watch your terminology.

    Describe the potential impact on your family. Most kids’ prime concern is how this personally affects them. So be honest and clear about any foreseeable changes.

    Be prepared for any response. Some kids will shut down. Others might be angry or cry. This is not the time to discipline or try talking them out of their feelings. Acknowledge their pain, confusion, anger or hurt. Then tailor your response to their response.

    Explain your plan for new employment. Kids don’t need a lengthy discussion so just briefly explain that you’re seeking a new job and it may take a while. Knowing that you have a “plan” (even if you have no idea what to do) helps kids feel secure.

    Involve your kids so they feel they are part of the solution. Ask them for cost-cutting ideas to help your family reduce costs. For instance, mention that turning off the lights will conserve energy. Then ask them for other suggestions.

    Try to maintain optimism even in the worst-case scenario. Your children will be watching your behavior closely and take their lead from your attitude.

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      A , Marriage & Family Therapy, answered
      Beyond tax credits, there are grants and loans (sometimes without interest) especially for adoption. Your company may begin to offer adoption benefits at your request. FMLA can be utilized for adoption. Many families are quite successful in raising funds individually as well. 
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      A , Internal Medicine, answered
      Dr. Robin Miller - mothers and multitasking

      It's an argument that comes up sooner or later in almost every household: is mom or dad carrying a heavier load? In this video, Dr. Robin Miller talks about how to balance the responsibilities so that everyone is happier.


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      A , Pediatrics, answered
      Students who work a reasonable amount (10-15 hours a week during the school year) actually earn higher grades than those who don’t work at all.

      Teens working 20 hours or more suffer a definite drop in academic achievement, which is not something your son should aspire to in the years leading up to the college admissions grind. At the same time, students who work too many hours may miss out on the sports, activities, and just plain socializing that make for a well-rounded person.
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      A , Healthcare, answered
      Dr. William Sears, renowned pediatrician, author, and staunch advocate of “attachment parenting,” believes parents who spend much time touching their babies—skin-to-skin--help them to thrive and develop physically, emotionally, and intellectually.  “Attachment parenting involves what I call the 5 Baby Bs--birth bonding, breastfeeding, babywearing, bedding close to baby, and belief in baby’s cries. Skin-to-skin contact is vital for making this connection with baby and helps parents to know their infants and become experts in their baby’s needs.

      Besides being enjoyable, stroking the skin is medically beneficial to the newborn. The skin, the largest organ in the human body, is very rich with nerve endings. At the time when baby is making the transition to air breathing, and the initial breathing patterns are very irregular, stroking stimulates the newborn to breathe more rhythmically, giving a parent’s touch real therapeutic value.”
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      A , Psychology, answered
      “Attachment parenting” (AP) is based on the work of well-known pediatrician and author William Sears, MD. AP is well known for its insistence that the attachment between infant and mother is essential to the development of a healthy baby, both physically and emotionally. However, their key tenets are only based loosely on well-known child development research, and attachment parenting certainly has its critics.

      One of the things I do like about attachment parenting (AP) is its understanding of the cultural differences that exist in families around the world, and the promotion of various ways of raising a family that can resonate more fully with various non-Western cultures. For instance, many Asians traditionally-and happily-share a family bed, or a family bedroom, as is suggested by AP. I also like the fact that AP promotes the reliance on the family’s own resources to know what is best for their children; we don’t have to rely on outside “experts” for everything.

      The problem I have with AP is that its adherents often tend to be quite orthodox in their beliefs. I myself have been sternly lectured for simply using a stroller (as opposed to “baby-wearing”, another AP belief), as well as for using a bottle to feed my baby in public. Of course, this is the opposite of the intolerant demagogues who criticize breastfeeding in public-it’s their shared judgmental strictness that bothers me most.

      The other concern I have is that it takes a blanket, “one-size-fits-all” approach to all children. Some babies don’t want to be held all the time. Some babies need time without physical contact to “decompress” from all that physical stimulation. Some babies don’t do well breastfeeding either, and many babies sleep better when they’re not disturbed by the direct physical contact of their parents. And your approach to raising your babies has to be dependent, at least partially, on the unique constitution of those babies. I know far too many babies who have these quirks and preferences to be comfortable giving a blanket statement about “baby-wearing”, breastfeeding, or co-sleeping.

      It remains the responsibility of the family to determine what’s best for them-and for their child. I certainly don’t promote Attachment Parenting as the “be-all, end-all” guide to what’s best for your child. Only you can decide that!