How do I readjust to sharing parenting with my veteran spouse?

When your spouse returns from deployment, there will naturally be a period of readjustment in the family dynamics. You have been used to being a “single parent,” and suddenly you have to share the decision-making, discipline, love and care with another adult who was not in the picture for a while. Your children will be adjusting to the returning parent as well, and you have a role in helping them do so.

Have a sit-down meeting with your veteran spouse to catch him/her up on any changes and developments with each of your children, and discuss any new rules or responsibilities they have. Be open to your spouse’s input and concerns. He/she may be feeling some anxiety about returning to the parental role and the children’s perception of him/her. Agree to present a united front and be fair and consistent with the rules and behavior expectations for the children. It may take a little time, but gradually the family will adjust to the return of the service member and settle into normal life. In the meantime, plan activities and outings with the family that all of you can enjoy. That will give you opportunities to relax together and bond over shared interests.