Parent-Child Relationship

Parent-Child Relationship

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    A , Psychology, answered
    Attitudes and beliefs that we develop in life toward many facets, dress and sexuality included, are learned at very early ages. Children are not just acquiring language in their first five years, but are also acquiring the "language" of the world around them. Everything they are exposed to is information that they process and try to make sense of. Our kids are exposed to styles of dress that can be somewhat provocative all the time in the media in their home and in their community; I would like to have a safe haven for our kids somewhere where they can be kids.

    Most children want to be like adults, speak like adults, dress like adults and behave like adults often way before their time. The parallel was made to language. Consider people who swear a lot -- they often don't pay attention to when they are swearing, the words just come out, and they are numb to their influence on others. Is our view of clothing, sexual innuendo, and direct sexual content in various forms of media any different? Have we become blind to our reality and how that reality is affecting our kids? I will leave you with this, Have there been times when and/or would you have limited your kid's exposure to an adult because of the language they use? Consider your answer and consider this important issue. While doing this, think about tomorrow when dealing with your kids today.
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    A Psychology, answered on behalf of
    You can begin talking to your kids about their emotions by talking about four basic feelings: mad, sad, scared and happy. There are clearly a lot more feelings that exist, but these four basic feelings seem to be the most universal that most people relate to and experience in everyday life. A parent's job is really complex when it comes to emotions because these feelings occur along a continuum.

    For example, happy feelings can range from content to joyful, all the way up to ecstatic. For mad, a person can be a little bit mad, annoyed or frustrated, or really, really, really mad and furious. Most kids don't have the ability at a young age to figure out the different ranges of emotions. A parent's job is to help them with this and to help them put into words how they are feeling in the moment.
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    A Psychology, answered on behalf of
    An important parenting strategy is redirecting rather than saying No, Don't, Stop, and Quit. Redirecting shifts the child’s attention and gives the child a more appropriate alternative. For example, if a child is starting to color on the coffee table a parent may say, “Look at this wonderful paper I’ve brought over for you. It’s better to color on paper than the coffee table." Oftentimes, this will work, helping avoid a negative interaction with the child. There are things that parents must tell a child not to do but using redirection regularly can result in words like NO, and DON’T being reserved for only very dangerous situations leading these words to have more meaning for the child. For example, the child will know when the parents say, "Don't run in the street" they really mean it.
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    A , Health Education, answered

    Families are the ultimate relationship arena. It is here that we experience our first, deepest, most complex, and sometimes most painful interactions. In spite of the inevitable dysfunction that exists in all families, they generate a certain intimacy and honesty that we rarely encounter elsewhere. There is permanence to families - even broken ones. They remain a part of our lives on a fundamental level, regardless of the passage of time or the distance between members.

    One of the most noticeable things about familial relationships is that while the definition of the role stays the same (once a daughter, sister, or mother, we are always that), its meaning in our life changes as we change. We gain or relinquish responsibilities as dependent, caregiver, partner, or even adversary. As we grow from child to adult, spouse to parent, who we are is characterized by our place in the family.

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    A , Health Education, answered

    The seminal relationships for each of us are with our parents. In many ways, they set the tone for all subsequent relationships. Hundreds of miles and decades of therapy will probably not be able to erase the imprint of those formative bonds. How we approach our friends, lovers, teachers, employers, and children is colored by those first human interactions. Even the way we envision God is influenced by whether we saw our parents as kind and caring, or authoritarian and retributive.

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    A , Alternative & Complementary Medicine, answered

    Your question reminds me of something Ram Dass said: "If you think you're enlightened, go spend a week with your family." 

    Ram Dass's quote of course recalls how we might be on a path of better, healthier living and revel in our success with doing so when we relate to our friends, co-workers, and other associates. But when we go back and spend time with our siblings or other people from our family we've known for most if not all of our life, we feel less like we're on a path and more like we're ten years old again. Things that didn't bother us now feel completely annoying, and seemingly harmless comments that are made to us aren't harmless at all.

    In growing up with and sharing so many formative experiences with them, our family members play a unique role in how we grow and live as people. In the specific case of siblings, having brothers and sisters presents us with a tremendous opportunity to experience that growth. If you are of proximate age to your siblings, you likely had very similar upbringings and were influenced by similar experiences. And yet, you are probably very different people in a number of ways. Even if your sibling tends to annoy you, frustrate you, or even completely upset you, use your experiences with them as a way to reflect on how your common roots might be related to struggles in each of your respective lives.

    There are no accidents in life. Each person we encounter has entered our life for a reason, and when we learn what that reason is we have a tremendous opportunity to find out more about who we are. This is particularly the case with our siblings, for they were placed in our life very early on to ensure that we have as many opportunities to learn what we must from them before we pass on.

    You may not think you're enlightened, but you would certainly do well to spend some time with your family. You might be amazed about what you learn about yourself.

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    A , Healthcare, answered

    One of the ways to do this is by dating your daughter.  When you date your children, you can get to know them and have time to focus completely on what’s important to them.  They get to be the center of the universe for a little while.  Building a healthy relationship is about talking to your children, dating them, and loving them in a way they want to be loved.  

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    A , Psychology, answered

    The family road trip is as Americana as apple pie. So how can parents plan a family road trip with their kids, reduce stress, and fondly remember it all their lives?  There are some ideas to try:

    Set Car Rules

    How many times do parents have to say: “Keep your voices down!!!” or “Take Turns,” while travelling with their kids?  Clear expectations help reduce flare-ups, so set rules for the car and then explain them to your kids before starting that engine and pulling out your driveway. Typical car rules are: “Indoor voices. Seat belts. Hands-to-self. Pick up your mess.” Even better, post your rules in the car on a small white board as a “friendly reminder.” Your best discipline ploy for a severe kid behavior infraction: Pull off the road (after checking your rear-view mirror) and turn off the engine. Once your kids know you mean business, it’s amazing how quickly they resolve their squabbles. (Especially if they see you reading a magazine and figure out that they may be not be moving for a while until they do).

    Arrange No Cost, No Fuss Family Travel Games

    A key to keeping kids’ behavior in check is fighting off those dreaded “I’m boorrrred” cries. That means keeping the kids occupied without you having to jump over the front seat to do so. This is a great time to introduce all those family road trip games you played as a kid like the License Plate Game (pack a U.S. map and start a family contest to see if you can find a license plate per state) or I Spy which are especially great for extra-long driving stretches.

    A must for any car trip is a cookie sheet. (No kidding!) Pack one per kid because they have multiple uses. You can stack and store them easily under the front seat, and then pull them out and convert them into instant tabletops to play card games like Old Maid or Fish, color, write postcards to friends or even snack on as trays. Most cookie sheets are magnetic, so kids can play magnetic games on them without worrying about pieces flying all over the car, and their rims keep all those smaller cars, blocks and crayons from slipping off.

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    Your feelings about parenting and your approach to it may be affected by your time away in the military. Veterans often notice changes in their children’s behavior and attitudes when they return, and may be surprised or upset by the changes. It’s not unusual for children to act out a little with a parent from whom they’ve been separated. They may be angry about the separation and blaming you for it. It will take time to re-establish the trust and authority you had before.

    Children have a tendency to test boundaries whenever there is a change in the family dynamic. In response, you may find yourself being overprotective of your children, or overly concerned about imposing discipline and rules. While you were in the military, strict discipline was necessary, and it may still be ingrained in you in your civilian life. However, it is not as appropriate for family life.

    Pay attention to how your spouse is handling discipline and rules with the children, and work together to present a united front. Resume your parental role one day at a time. Do not rush the relationship-building with too many treats and don’t try to impose it by insisting on obedience. Notice the positive ways in which your children have grown and changed, and be sure to acknowledge and praise them.
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    Very young children will likely not understand what is going on in their family when a service member parent returns home. Toddlers may not recognize or remember the service member parent. Prepare them as best you can with what to expect on the day of reunion. Do not insist that they respond in a particular way to their returning parent.

    It is natural for children to act out or get over-excited when they pick up on the excitement (or stress) of the parents. Reassure them that they are still important to you, and spend a little extra time with them before taking private time with your veteran spouse. Even infants may respond to this change in the family dynamic, especially if they are getting less time and attention from the person who has been their primary caregiver. They may become apathetic, fussy, or have a diminished appetite.

    Toddlers may react to less time from their caregiver with tantrums, sleep problems, or crying, and preschool age children may be clingy or aggressive. They may even revert to a more babyish level of behavior, temporarily forgetting their toilet training, or sucking their thumb.

    School-age children may be whiny and complain that they are sick or have aches and pains. They may also feel excessively worried about both parents’ safety. Do not discipline or punish children when they act out in these ways; they are only behaving this way because they do not understand their own feelings. Your veteran spouse or partner may be upset by this behavior; they, too, need to accept how their children feel and not take it personally. Talk to your kids and let them know their feelings are normal and okay. It is a confusing transition for them. Try to maintain the routines of your household as you always have. Consistency makes children feel secure